(Closed) Excited but Afraid of Disappointment

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
4616 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

This is super exciting!  And if I were you I know I’d be bouncing off the walls.  But, you’re right.  It might not happen.  Try to look at it as a vacation like any other.  I know that’s easier said than done.  But I’m sure you’ll have a great time, ring or no ring.

Post # 4
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Yay! That is so exciting! 

If I were you, I would just plan my days with a few activities each day just to keep my mouth shut and my mind focussed on other things.

Post # 5
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That is such an exciting time! My best advice is to try not to think about a proposal (as impossible as it seems, trust me I know) and focus on having a wonderful vacation. I’ve been to that island and its so cool. Just try and let things happen or you’ll drive yourself nuts! I know how hard it can be though. 

Post # 6
714 posts
Busy bee

@MountainWolf:  he’s probably as excited as you and will do it sooner than September the 20th!  It could happen on the trip, or that could be to throw you off the scent and he’ll just do it at a completely different time! Either way you’ll be engaged by September! So just focus on that Smile But if i wear you I would have the nails done for that June trip just in case!!

Post # 7
49 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

expectation is the root of all disappointment. don’t ruin a great vacation by putting the possibility of the proposal above spending time with your BF. You can really taint what’s supposed to be a good time by doing that… I found out from one of his friends that my then BF might want to propose to me and it gave me so much anxiety because I was expecting it to happen left and right. when it didn’t happen for months, I relaxed, and within a few weeks, he did it. and i think i enjoyed it so much more than i would have if i had been looking out for it. 

Post # 8
4173 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

I would agree with PP who said just try to focus on your vacation. I had to tell myself repeatedly  over as 2 week period to not think about a proposal and it completely ruined my holidays. He proposed not long after, but I spent a lot of time obsessing over something I had no control over and it ruined an otherwise awesome time for me. Have a great holiday and if you come home with a ring, that would be SO wonderful! But if not, you still had a wonderful vacation with the man of your dreams! And know that its not far off and you’ll be celebrating before you know it!

Post # 9
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

My birthday was Thursday and we spent a really romantic evening together. I sort of thought he would ask that evening but he didn’t. we had a great time anyway. I did feel a little disappointment but it evaporated when I thought to myself that he is planning to do this and for whatever reason his plan didn’t include tonight and that’s fine. he (hopefully) only gets to do this once and it’s big deal for him to do this his way. I’m fine with that.

Your SO has something in mind and whether it’s elaborate or low key, he’s planning it for you. if that plan doesn’t include proposing during your vacation, trust his judgment and have faith that he’s choosing not to do it then because he feels another date would be better.


Post # 10
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@MountainWolf:  Focus on just having fun with the SO, and that’s it. Once you get engaged, the pressure will be on to plan a wedding and get married (assuming you want a wedding and to get married within the next couple years), and you may not have a chance to just take a deep breath and relax with the SO on vacation thinking about nothing else. It sounds like your SO days are numbered from what I am reading here, hence focus on enjoying each one of them and continuing to build what you have with the SO.

P.S. FWIW, I am so JEALOUS that you are going on vacation. I won’t be due for my next vacation until this fall the earliest b/c of summer classes + work busy season. So enjoy this opportunity! 🙂 And if he proposes? Added BONUS! 

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