Post # 1
I’m super excited to become engaged. Right now I’m playing the waiting game with my SO. Is it wierd that I’m really not excited about planning a wedding? My SO wants to go out of the country, because he believes that only those that truly care for us would spend the money to attend. I, on the other hand, could go to the court house and marry and then just host a reception at home.
So I suppose my question is: Are there any other bees like me?
Also, I’m finishing up my Masters and I’m applying to PH.d programs so I don’t have the money to waste, but my boyfriend is more than willing to spend the money. I guess I’m too prideful to ask for monetary support…
Post # 3
@ny88: Um, yeah. There are women out there who don’t love wedding planning.
Although maybe it’s just the way you worded it, but “because he believes that only those that truly care for us would spend the money to attend” really makes it sound like your Boyfriend or Best Friend wants to put your family and friends through some kind of test to see who really cares for you guys… But it’s based on money, which IMO is a shitty way to tell if someone cares for you. There’s so many factors that will be at play that determine whether a person will come if you decide to have a wedding abroad.
Some might love you to death but not have the money.
Some might be over the moon for you, but hate the place you’re having it and not want to go there.
Some might not have the vacation time that they can spend for an international vaction.
Some might not want to spend all their vacation time at once and for a wedding.
Some might object to a destination wedding on principle because they feel it asks too much of guests, but not because they don’t love you.
Some might go just because they feel awkward like they have to because they’re your family.
Some might go because they want to see the place and give 0 shits about your marriage.
…See where I’m going with this? Have the wedding that you both want, which will take some compromise. But don’t equate a dollar amount with how much someone cares about you.
ETA: All of this is especially true if your main friends/social circle are also students or people in early academic careers.
Post # 4
@Mrs.LemonDrop: Thank you so much for your honest answer! I never really thought of it that way. In all honesty, my SO comes from money and he has a huge family. I have a very small close-knit family and I definitely didn’t come from money. So I can just imagine his entire family being there and none of mine being there. We’ll have to figure something out. Thanks again for posting!
Post # 5
@Mrs.LemonDrop: +1, I agree with all of this. If you want a destination wedding, that’s fine, but I think that is a terrible reason.
Also, I thought I was going to like wedding planning, but it sucks now and I can’t wait for it to be over.
Post # 6
@LilliePad: I imagine I’d feel the same way.