(Closed) Excited? Nervous? Upset? Anxious? Happy? All of the above, and need to vent

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m sorry that it’s not all working out the way you envisioned it, and I really don’t think you’re a superficial person, but sometimes it’s just the way the cookie crumbles. You have a wonderful man, an engagement ring that’s going to be exactly what you want, and a house! You’re pretty much living the dream:) I’ve never been through something like this, but try to focus on the happiness of it. Enjoy it instead of worrying about the “nothing to come after the wedding is over”. After the wedding you get to spend time with the man that you love and I’m sure that you’ll be having all kinds of wonderful memories even if they aren’t as exciting as buying a house or getting engaged.

Post # 4
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

As long as he seems ok with it and it doesn’t make him sad/hurt, I say there’s nothing wrong in wanting a different ring and helping to pay for it. No one needs to know you helped pay for it but the two of you. It’s not like when people ask about your engagement story you have to say “well we had this pear diamond…but I didn’t like it and insisted on something else…”

Don’t worry about it. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from reading the posts on these boards, it’s that each one of us thinks we’re doing something untraditional, or unromantic, or out-of-the-ordinary, but that’s just it…MOST of us are thinking that. I take solace in knowing that each person has a unique story with some rough edges, and not everyone ends up with exactly what they had imagined…but that doesn’t mean it’s any worse than the fairy tale…just REAL.

Post # 5
Member
1730 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I guess since I’ve been the “breadwinner” for much of our relationship, hving the steady job and degree, it’d not bother me too, too much to even go halves on something like the ring, especially if that meant I got the help pick it out and that I’d A) know for certain it existed and was coming, a reassurance I do not have nor do I feel I can look forward to having at this time and B) that it would be on my finger via one-knee’d proposing SOONER.

While watching Sweet Home Alabama, in the opening scene inside Tiffany’s when Patrick Dempsy tells her to, “pick one,” my Boyfriend or Best Friend made the comment that he’d always thought it was wrong to take the lady with you.  I didn’t push, as I was in almost perpetual melt-down mode following a series of friends’ and relatives’ engagements, but wondered if it was because the surprise would be gone, the cost would be known, or what?

I think we al ahve dreams and notions of what “should” be the way tings work, and then life steps in like that kid from the Simpsons and says, “HA-ha.”  I like the fact that you are going to be getting a ring you love, that he’s willing to do what it takes to do so WHILE purchasing a house, AND his pride didn’t prevent him from allowing for the option to get help with the cost.  I wish my Boyfriend or Best Friend was as easy to talk to about such things and that I hadn’t grown up so used to keeping everything to myself that I don’t even know how sometimes.  You know where things are, and while your surprise at his proposal may not be staggering, there is a lifetime of happy surprises ahead of you both that you can plan on sharing. 🙂

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