- 12 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
I don’t tell anyone I am engaged. I love my partner very much. I will marry him of course. But the reason I don’t tell anyone is that he has been asking me to marry him ever since I’ve known him, or rather about a week after meeting him. He tells everyone I am hia Financee.
We picked out a beautiful ring at Queen of Heir in Houston. I love it. However, he didn’t like the center stone, not enough bling as it is an old european cut, it wasn’t want he dreamed it would be. The ring is old….1930. So, I agree that he can put whatever he wants in it. But since he hasn’t gotten down on one knee or done anything like that, rather he just tells me, "I am going to marry you" and we’ve talked about changing my name and where to get married. I am from Oregon and he is from Houston and works in Kuwait. We’ve talked about low key and the Honeymoon being our June trip to Australia. However, I still don’t have the ring. So I don’t consider myself engaged.
It had started to feel like he was dragging feet for no reason. I know the ring is expensive, now that I know the size. He didn’t want to finance the stone. I understand and appreciate this as well. But when I had mentioned that the ring, after 6 months of waited, was starting to lose it’s appeal. If it was cost that was keeping me from feeling engaged I would have rather had a band, I didn’t even care if it were just a little band. I wanted to have something there that says to other people I am taken. In telling him this i also said, "maybe we shouldn’t get married, just live together. I am from the west coast, lots of people do this". This was the wrong thing to say. He was offended. He wants to be married and sees it as the only way people should be together, and we’re even waiting for sex. But in this converstation he also revealed that he needed a friend to return from his vacation from Kuwait to Texas before I can visit Kuwait. He revealed not everything, but that he couldn’t have me come until his co-worker returned, and did I think of why that might be.
So, now I am thinking it is the ring.
However, each time we have been together I had been on the "lookout" for that moment.
I also know he wants to get me and underwater camera for the Australia trip. So, here is the problem for me. It very well might not be the ring. But if it is how do I keep myself from being out of my mind excited or disappointed?
Should I consider myself engaged because he does?
How do others feel when the ring takes so long?