(Closed) Excited, Neverous and Worried it Won’t be a Surprise.

posted 12 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Tricky tricky! Have you told him how you feel? Maybe a simple "I want to marry you but until you officially propose, I can’t call you my fiance" would help. Are you visiting Kuwait soon? If so, and nothing happens, talk with him about where he stands. Tell him you don’t even care about the ring’s price and will happily wear a ring pop if it means you can start planning… : )

Post # 4
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Ummm this might just be me, but I think this whole situation seems a bit odd…

You said "he has been asking me to marry him ever since I’ve known him, or rather about a week after meeting him. He tells everyone I am his Fiancé"

"We picked out a beautiful ring at Queen of Heir in Houston. I love it. However, he didn’t like the center stone, not enough bling as it is an old european cut, it wasn’t want he dreamed it would be."

And now he’s dragging his feet to replace a stone that YOU LOVED and he didnt.  He’s never actually asked you to marry him.

I am probably over-reacting and reading to much into this whole thing, but is he controlling at all? 

How long have you been together?

Post # 6
14 posts

I can kind of understand where you are coming from.  In my opinion, I consider myself not engaged, but taken, obviously.  I know we will be together forever, but I truly do not and cannot (even if I try right now) consider myself "engaged".  The ring isn’t important to me as anything more than a symbol, honestly, but that symbol connects to the term. I would consider yourself in love, consider yourself taken, consider yourself waiting for the official-ness of it all -but save that "I’m engaged!" feeling for when he asks – I think you’ll appreciate the feeling and excitement more.  Best of luck!

Post # 7
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Am in the exact same boat.  It’s probably imho in this case, the cost of the ring and his conservative financial values (which I LOVE..HIS CREDIT IS AMAZING).  He’s not one of those guys who picks out jewelry and then buys it on store credit.  Nope.  He buys it when he can either pay for all of it or doesn’t.  And we’re not knee deep in debt either.

He tells everybody we’re going to marry within a year (I pushed the timeline back a bit) and most people who meet us automatically assume we’re already married actually.

I’m like you Mizunoheaven, I’m waiting..on the verge.  I don’t consider myself FORMALLY engaged b/c to me without the ring, it’s  not a real engagement.  Jmho. 

And yes, like you I’ve worried it will no longer be romantic in any way.  Not at all.  I’ve worried tons about that.  It’s been on my mind alot and I got to the point where I told T "Honey, until the day when you give me the ring arrives, I’m not wanting to hear ONE DAMN THING about us planning this or that..because until we are formally engaged, NOTHING concrete with regard to our planning a wedding or our life together will go down.  NOTHING.  So don’t even utter a word to me unless the ring is in your pocket and within minutes of being on my hand."

I actually had to do that..and I was sad.  But there’s no more stress anymore.  I even pushed back our tentative wedding date because of my wish to marry during a time when kids aren’t in school and when I’m not rushed to merge households or move.  (even though he’s helping me do that).  And I’m not going to be rushed into planning our wedding although my details are already planned out pretty much (he’s on same page..back when I was discussing the style, type, etc with him..and I am not doing that now at all) a wedding whatsoever.  I also don’t want a winter wedding (my preference) and want an outside wedding too.  So let’s scratch off 2009 for now. 

By letting it all go, I think we’ve let the romance back in 100 percent.  Just sit back..ENJOY the place where you two are right now..it’s great..loving and romantic.  And by letting things slide for a while, there’s no pressure on any of us at all.

If it happens on your camping trip WONDERFUL and know girl you gotta show that ring off here..if it doesn’t no worries.  It will happen in time.  Love’s a funny thing and guys react sometimes bizarrely to the forever concept ya know?   


Post # 8
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m sorry, but I could barely understand this post.

"There are something you just know"

"he also revealed that he needed a friend to return from his vacation from Kuwait to Texas before I can visit Kuwait"

"But how do I get over being angry about being made to wait so long as he has been calling me the fiancee when he hasn’t really earned it yet"

I don’t know how you get over being angry if you are. But if he hasn’t earned the right to call you fiance yet, then he should not and it’s up to you to put your foot down. You’re either engaged or you’re not. A ring can cost $30,000, and it can also cost $300. With that being said, I think it’s okay to be engaged without a ring. It’s the matter of him getting down on one knee or whatever works for you that makes it official and then you know that you are now actively planning a wedding and a life to be together. Until he does that, along with asking your parents for their blessing, if that’s important to you, then you’re still boyfriend/girlfriend in my opinion.

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