(Closed) Excited to be engaged but underwhelmed by the proposal…

posted 10 years ago in Proposals
Post # 47
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

MY DH just held the ring out and asked if I would marry him. No bended knee. But honestly, I didn’t care!

Post # 48
41 posts
  • Wedding: January 2011

@gr8tlexi: I think if I was a guy and I just spent thousands on a ring and asked someone to marry me and they said it wasn’t good enough-that they needed a speech-I would seriously reconsider marrying that person. If asking someone to marry you isn’t good enough then you need to check yourself on your values and what you think a marriage is about long term.

How many girl would scoff at spending 5-10 thousand dollars of their cash on a gun or something their guy wanted a lot-yeah we excpect guys to do it on a ring and when they do we say ‘sorry that’s not good enough’. Get over yourself.

Post # 49
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

At least he got out of bed!! My Fiance proposed while we were both still lying down. We had to wake up early because we were working on a major backyard renovation with the help of our families. I woke up, rolled over and he was just lying there looking at me. He said – I love you – will you marry me? I was really happy but just kind of wanted to go back to sleep!

We have all these expectations for a special proposal – but the most important thing is that he asked. People stopped asking about my proposal story after a couple of weeks anyway.

Post # 50
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh – and your ring is gorgeous!! Sad that it wasn’t a surprise – but it was kind of your fault!

Post # 51
7298 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is why some guys feel pressured to make the proposal amazing and they end up holding off on it.  It sucks that you didn’t get the fireworks that you wanted, but that’s not even important. You have the ring on your finger and now you can begin planning your wedding and marriage. If Mr. Tattoo proposed the way yours did and I said something along the lines, “Aren’t you going to say something else?” he would have closed the box and told me to eff off probably. 

Your ring is beautiful! But you were bugging him about it so that’s why he emailed you the photo. Don’t be resentful about it because he will pick up on it and that’s only going to cause problems. 

Post # 52
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have two stories that are worse. 

When my friend’s sister got engaged, it happened when the two of them were sitting on the couch watching tv.  During a commercial break he said something like “so you wanna get married?”  She responded with a sure.  10 year and 2 kids later, they’re doing ok.

A friend of mine and her bf were long distance while she was in grad school.  They were supposed to meet up in New Orleans to celebrate his b-day.  When the met up in the airport he turned to her and was like so do you just want the ring or what.  She had to make him wait until they got to the hotel to try to do it right.

Post # 53
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I kind of felt the same way – except he tried to be very romantic (roses, music, etc) and I just felt underwhelmed.  It all felt really chiche, and I sort of thought he would do a public proposal so an at home proposal felt weird to me.  But I got over it – I know he did the absolute best he could do, and it felt “right” to him.  What’s more important is that we’re engaged and we’re going to get married. 

If you want a romantic speech, maybe ask him to consider writing your own vows (or saying them at the rehearsal dinner, a la Turk and Carla?  And give him plenty of time to prepare.  And have a trusted female friend look over to words to ensure it has the proper sentiment (and is not a speech from When Harry met Sally…)!

Post # 54
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Garden of the Gods

The whole “get down on one knee and make this long speech about how much you mean (cue string quartet music)” is really way overrated. Yes, you had hoped for a more “special” proposal. It’s like a lot of things in life…it’s not the same when it happens to you as it is in the movies.

Our proposal was in a very unique location (Tahiti), but other than that it wasn’t anything to write home about. It was 5:00 in the morning, I was half-asleep, still in my pajamas with bed-head hair and a hungry stomach. There weren’t any fireworks, and it didn’t seem like it felt as good as it should when he asked. Believe me, you will feel more sweetly about it in months to come. It took me about 6 months before I really understood how hard he tried to make it special.

Congratulations and good luck with your planning sweetie!

Post # 55
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Congrats on the house & engagement!  Both are very exciting, even if the proposal was well, underwhelming.  Not that it’ll make you feel better, but I wasn’t too thrilled with my proposal either.  Now that it’s been a few months, I actually like the story. 

Here it goes: I had spent the day working the in the garden and then made him dinner while he went to his parents house to pick up his suit (he needed it for work and it never made its way over in the recent move).  So after we finished eating he tells me his mom had left over cake he’ll bring it in if I could get the plates, knife and fork out.  I turn around to bring the stuff to the table and there is a cake…with a ring box on it…and he’s just standing there like nothing is going on.  Seriously, he said NOTHING!  I said, don’t you have anything to say.  He’s like well I kinda think it speaks for itself, doesn’t it?  Once again, Um don’t you have anything to ask?  Him, well don’t you want a piece of cake?  Me, seriously?  There is a ring staring at me and all you have to say is, do you want a piece of cake?  Finally he says, I love you, will you marry me?  And that is it.  No down on one knee, and I had to coerce it out of him.  I was hoping for some romance, a beautiful speech.  Noda, zero, zilch.  I almost had to propose to myself. 

It’s our little proposal story and I now love it!  You’ll love yours too.  I promise. So enjoy the planning!

Post # 56
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I havent been proposed to quite yet, but it is hopefully  comin in the next couple of months, I am not going to lie to you I would like a bit of a speech and I have a feeling my SO might do that for me, but I wouldnt be to angry since he says he wants the proposal to be a huge surprise anyways. You have to see it from their points of view, when it comes down to the time of proposal I bet most mens hearts are racing so fast they forget everything they wanted to say and the easiest to remember is “Will you marry me”

Post # 57
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My fiance only said those 4 words, but it was in an amazing place (Koh Samui) at an amazing time (New Years eve) and he was so darned nervous lol it was perfect!

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