- 9 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
When I moved in December to be closer to DBF (not living with him though, and still keeping everything in tact in my old town so we didn’t feel pressure to stay together for logistical reasons), one of the things that we agreed is that we thought pre-marital prep/counseling is a good idea. And to me, it makes more sense to do it once you are very serious, but before you get the ring on your finger, just so it’s easier to really raise any issues rather than bury them because of possible wedding pressure.
DBF agreed, and he took the initiative to set up our first session – which is tomorrow! I’m nervous because pre-engagement counseling really isn’t a “thing,” and we don’t have any issues I can point to that I want to resolve/work through. It’s a normal counselor we’re seeing, so I’m hoping she has some sort of pre-marital program she can put us through, but I’m a little skeptical. I had one really bad response from a counselor that I looked into, that if we were calling it meant we must have problems! (Sorry dude, I actually just want to learn to work through and prevent future problems.)
If the counselor doesn’t seem receptive or like she has a good prep program in mind tomorrow, there’s a couple that actually does pre-engagement counseling via Skype (both Marriage & Family Therapists). Their beliefs don’t fully align with ours, but I like that they think pre-engagement preparation is a good plan.
Oh, and we are not religious, so we wouldn’t have a church pre-marital prep program, which is another reason we’re exploring this.
So, I’m excited because it feels like this is a good step forward (we agreed we’d make a decision by the end of August to move forward or me move back to my old town), but also nervous because I feel like a counselor might not be understanding of what we’re looking for and try to look for problems where they don’t exist!