(Closed) Excluding one of the groom's sister from the bridal party? Help!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 19
2424 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t see anything offensive about my post. I find it extremely rude and drama creating to invite 2 out of 3 sisters and exclude the third. You posted on this website asking for advice. Mine is, ask the third sister, or YOU look like the bad guy. Sounds like your future inlaws agree, so good luck on future family relations if you stand your ground on this.

Post # 21
10 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

I hate to say it, but I think you have to include her and just thank God she lives too far to participate until day. Have one of your close friends act as a buffer between the 2 of you on the big day. Just be the bigger person, you’ll be too busy to notice her on the day, and tell her sisters that if she gets into it with you , they need to step up and diffuse her. Sorry…sounds like no fun.

Post # 23
10 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh that sounds like a perfect solution!

Post # 24
19 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

This is YOUR wedding day to celebrate the commitment and love between you and your Fiance.

Personally, if your Fiance wanted his sister to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, then I would say do it.  But since it sounds like he is backing you up on this, then don’t include her.  It sounds to me like you have her blessing.

This isn’t about creating family drama.  Just simply explain that you aren’t close to this particular sister, she lives far away, you’re worried about the financial contribution she’d have to make, and remind everyone that your Fiance is behind you 100%

My Fiance has a sister that he isn’t talking to at all and he doesn’t even want her at the wedding.  He also has two younger half sisters and he hasn’t pressured me at all to include them in the wedding.  He isn’t super close to them (but he loves them dearly) and they don’t live very close – we might just make it easier on all of us to include them by having them do readings or something.

This is your wedding and you have to weigh the pros and cons for yourself – is it worth not including her and having your future family unhappy with you, or do you think that it is better to cave and have her be a bridesmaid to make your future family happy?  At the end of the day, only you and your Fiance know what the right decision is.

Either way – Congrats!!   

Post # 27
457 posts
Helper bee

This is your future family, and it will be a point of resentment to not include her in the bridal party. If you’re ok with offending your future husband’s siblings and mother then do whatever you want. And they’ve all talked with you about it, so you know it bothers them. I personally, would not even consider excluding a single sibling and including the others. To me it would come across as a little “mean girl”. 

For that exact reason I only have one attendant (my MOH) and no other girls. No sisters, mine or his, even though I would have loved to have my own sisters stand beside me. I knew I couldn’t pick and choose.

I know everyone says “it’s the bride’s day, so the bride should get her way, no questions asked” but I don’t live by that mentality. Yes, it’s about the bride and groom, but it’s also about families joining. 

Good luck. You’re certainly in a sticky situation with this one.

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