Post # 1
I was just engaged in July and a few weeks ago we finally made it back to our hometowns to visit our families and share the news in person. FI warned me that his brother and the brother’s in laws were not the nicest people, but I figured that was just from their difference of opinion on politics. Boy was I wrong.
First thing the SIL did was scoff at my ring and compare it to hers. Then she had the audacity to say “so have you started a diet and exercise plan yet? It takes a long time for others to see your results.” EXCUSE ME?!
Bees, this would be a horrible thing to say to anyone, but let me put it into persepective: I am 5’4″ and 118lbs on a bad day. I wear size 0 jeans, maybe a 2 in a dress. TOPS. I dont mean to toot my own horn, but my body looks pretty good for my age (thanks gma for the metabolism!). Maybe im sensitive but wtf?? Who asks that?? Who asks that of someone who is already fit?? Is a diet and exs plan just assumed for every bride (best case) or am I experiencing what my FI warned me about?
I got lucky, but I’m a firm believer in building women up, not breaking them down be it with snide comments like this, media pushing their idea of a perfect woman, men demeaning us, or anything else anyone can think of. This blew my mind and broke my heart. Her poor daughter was all I could think.
Thoughts? Maybe I’m overreacting but combined with the rest of the experience and the horror stories I heard later, I dont know how often I’ll be able to tolerate this branch of the family tree…
Post # 3
@marhealy: smh….some of the things people say are a reflection of how they feel about themselves. I was told two days ago “show off hot stuff …kids will soon change all that” this was a response to a profile picture of me in a bikini ..I am 36 by the way.
Post # 4
@marhealy: sorry to hear that. It sounds ridiculous on her part. I am around your height and weight and could not afford to loose an ounce. I would be a skeleton!
Post # 5
She sounds like a gem. I would have just laughed at her and told her to fuck off.
Post # 6
Well since you are petite, and i no way in need of a diet plan; she’s jealous, plain and simple. Also a bitch. I’m sorry, it must be a horrible feeling to be treated that way 🙁
Post # 7
Someone needs a filter! She may have not realized what she was saying was offensive. Orrr maybe she feel insecure herself. I would have said, “well, I’m happy with my body, so I’m not to concerned with what others think.”
Post # 8
@marhealy: umm yeah no thats rude. Maybe she thought you wouldnt be AS offended as someone who was a little overweight? But either way, to any body type, that is offensive.
Post # 9
Some people are just rude and have no social etiquette. Its hard for me to hold my tongue when someone is so outwardly rude. Did your FI hear the comments? Did he say anything?
Post # 10
That is awful!! And you are definitely not the first person I’ve heard that kind of story about. It’s like once you’re a bride, people feel it’s totally acceptable to comment on things they would never dream of bringing up otherwise. Everyone assumes that just because you’re getting married you automatically must be going on a diet. That someone would even assume it of someone petite like you shows how screwed up standards are about brides 🙁 and women in general of course!
Post # 11
Bah, that wouldn’t be appropriate no matter what size you are! Totally sounds like she’s projecting her own insecurities though, which is still no good. 🙁
Post # 12
What a bitch! I would have replied “I know it takes a long time, I mean – how long have you been working out now?”
Post # 13
She sounds like a real winner.
I think that asking a bride if they’re going on a diet for the wedding is terrible no matter what size. It’s even crazier to say to a small person, but rude no matter what. She’s either insecure about her own body and throwing that to you, or she’s just a bitch.
Post # 14
@MrsPrinceKaranja: i agree.
@marhealy: it’s difficult but just try to ignore their lame comments. you know it isn’t true.
Post # 15
My first response was, “That bitch!” No matter what a girl’s ring looks like, I tell her how beautiful it is and definitely don’t bring mine into the equation unless she asks to see it. Second, who the HELL just starts in on diet and exercise?! Regardless of the other person’s size. Wow. Take a moment (and perhaps a stiff drink if that’s your thing) and just let her yuck flow away from you. Best of luck!
Post # 16
I continue to be amazed at the entirely inappropriate, insensitive, socially unacceptable things some people will say to others. If she says anything along the lines of this again, you might respond cheerfully, smiling,”Oh, no, and I have no intention of doing so. I am quite content with my current figure, and so is FI.” Then change the subject to another topic.