Post # 32
@Schrutebeets: Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has them and they all stink.
That being said, it is NOT appropriate to attack people when they don’t agree with your opinion and I think your last comment was WAY out of line.
OP, if you are not comfortable going because the other BM’s are bitches, don’t go. They won’t get any nicer and if your “friend” decides that’s a relationship breaker, then cut her loose, she doesn’t deserve you.
Post # 33
I think the bride and the other BMs are acting pretty immature about this situation. I’ll be missing one of my bridesmaids at my bachelorette party too and it’s not the end of the world.
Another suggestion is to see about having the bachelorette party the Thursday before the wedding (assuming it’s on a Saturday). We did this for my friend’s wedding and it worked out well considering it worked for all the Out of Town BMs and most BMs take off the Friday before the wedding.
Post # 34
@Schrutebeets: woah! relax. Of course the OP asked for advice and not everyone is gonna agree. (it would be a rather dull world if everyone had the same thoughts!) But no one attacked you, yet you seem to be attacking others that don’t agree with you? Sounds a little hypocritial…just a bit. Play on with being Devil’s Advocate but don’t get upset when everyone doesn’t agree with you cause it comes off as a bit ridiculous, as you put it in your post.
Should OP go? It would make the bride happy, BUT she is making an effort to take part in EVERYTHING ELSE, soooo if it leads to a broken friendship then I’d say it wasn’t a very good one to begin with.
Post # 35
I wasn’t at all trying to attack anyone, sorry if it came off that way………felt like that was being done to me which is why I responded. Sometimes meaning and intention does not come through on the internet. I’m sure it wasn’t intended that way towards me either so I’ll just drop it.
Post # 36
@Schrutebeets: No one was attacking you, it was just a general response to a number of posts, which is what everyone is doing regardless of whether or not they agree with OP. It is a conversation and not everyone is going to agree, I responded you just like you responded to someone else.
By The Way: I’m glad to see your keyboard has dried out and is back to normal! 🙂
Post # 37
Haha, the keyboard isn’t fixed I’m using FI’s laptop 🙁 Trip to the geniusbar tomorrow after work….
Post # 38
It’s just a party. Seriously. When did brides get so entitled that they think everyone involved in their wedding has to drop everything else in their lives to accommodate any and all extravagant pre-wedding spectaculars?
We’re adults, not 5 year olds. Grown-up friendships should not be dependent on whether or not you can come over and play in the sandbox on Saturday.
Post # 39
I’m not torn about this at all. I’m currently experiencing this (as a bride) and I’m TOTALLY fine with bridesmaids not attending, if they have plans already. My party is Memorial Day weekend at the beach and 2/4 bridesmaids can’t come for different reasons. Honestly, it’s not REQUIRED, nothing but buying a dress and showing up are REQUIRED.
I think this is so rude that anyone would be treated this way. If those girls were not initially willing to accomidate you (and it sounds like their still not willing), then you have every right to make other plans. Honestly, it would be extremely difficult for me to still be in that wedding…
Post # 40
Honestly, I wouldn’t talk to any of these people ever again. They’re behaving childishly, who has time for that crap?
If you still want to salvage the friendship with the Bride, I’d tell the her what you wrote on here. Forget the “rule” about not talking to her about things, that’s just their way of doing whatever they want and lying to the bride the entire time..which they ARE doing. Tell her that you tried to see if the original date of June 4 could be moved, they refused. WEEKS later you had made plans and they say “oh, we moved all this just for you!” (without asking, mind you!) and you’re the bad guy for having a life and making other plans? Blah.
I’d be willing to bet the Bride has no clue what’s been going on with her other bridesmaids.
Post # 41
@linguo42: Couldn’t agree with you more!
I have been in a similar situation as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, where the bride had a bachelorette party for the entire weekend (Friday, Saturday, and Sunday). I had plans with my Fiance to host out of town friends at our home on the Saturday of the same weekend and I told the bride and her Maid/Matron of Honor that I had made these plans months in advance and could only be there Friday and was told that it was totally fine. A month later, the bride tells me that she was upset that I didn’t make it to the Saturday events and expected me to cancel my plans for her bachelorette party because I was BM! And when I brought up the fact that other friends didn’t come to all the events, she says “Well they aren’t BM’s and you are, and you shouldn’t compare yourself with others.” Well, I told her that it would be extremely rude as the host to cancel my other plans…luckily she understood where I was coming from and it didn’t affect our friendship. And I should add this is a friend I would see at least every other week because we live near each other, so it’s not like I never made the effort to see her.
Sorry for the threadjack OP, I hope you work everything out with the bride…I just wanted you to know I understand what you are going through!