(Closed) Existing family traditions after marriage?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
10572 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think it’s normal for parents to feel a little sad and disappointed when their kids get married and things change.  It’s expected though.

Maybe your Darling Husband can suggest a new boys day tradition that doesn’t involve birthdays or holidays that you want to spend the day with him.

I do think it’s important to keep up some of your old traditions, but it’s also important to start new ones for your family too.

Post # 4
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

 I don’t think it’s big deal for him to spend a few hours having a boys only breakfast.Since you are included in other parts of his birthday. Perhaps let them have the early part of the day and reserve the rest of the day to have alone time with your husband. I just think everyone needs alone time with their family sometimes and in the grand scheme of things if it’s going to cause bad feelings and grudes I don’t see the need to stir the pot, given thath is Dad doens’t seem complete unreasonable as he knows the tradition can’t carry on forever.
 

Post # 5
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

That doesn’t sound bad to me, I think its perfectly reasonable to want time with your children without SO’s. I can also understand why you might not like it. I think it’s your SO’s decision ultimately.

Post # 6
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@TwoCityBride:  “I don’t think it’s big deal for him to spend a few hours having a boys only breakfast.Since you are included in other parts of his birthday.”

I agree.  It isn’t like the Father-In-Law wants the entire day.  A couple of hours of time with his sons isn’t asking too much, IMO.  Even when kids grow up and become adults and marry, it is still nice to get individual time with just them.

Post # 7
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

@Bichon Frise:  I think the dad should get a boys-only breakfast on HIS OWN birthday, since that’s his preference (and the other sons, since they don’t have partners), but your hubby should get to have you at his birthday breakfast. It should be that the birthday-boy gets to decide!

Post # 8
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I don’t see anything wrong with you wanting to start a new b’day tradition for Darling Husband (especially since Darling Husband sounds like he’s on board) – but I can also understand why his dad would want a special morning with just his boys.  

If the tradition does change – I’d encourage you to have Darling Husband take his dad out as a ‘thank you for raising me’ type b’fast (on a day other than his b’day) – maybe a new tradition can be birthed that is a special father/son only thing for them.

Post # 10
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Bichon Frise:  btw, I would be annoyed if I felt obligated to spend the entire day with DH’s family on his b’day … it’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that I would want to celebrate with Darling Husband the way he would want to (and the day with his extended family is not how he would want to).  In doubt, always refer back to what the b’day boy wants! 🙂

Post # 12
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Personally I would let it be.  Its great that your family is close enough that Darling Husband and his dad want to spend time together, and I could see if you have kids, it would be amazing for them to become part of that tradition.  What about letting Darling Husband go with Dad, while you go out with his Mom or other female relatives, and then everyone get together after breakfast.  You and Darling Husband live together, I don’t think I would begrudge his Dad one breakfast a year with him.  

Post # 14
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think that ultimately it’s up to you two as a couple. In some marriages, the husband might want that time with his dad & brothers, but if it’s like your situation, where the brothers just “go along with it” because it’s important to their father & your husband wants to bring you, that’s another story.

I see no harm with continuing the father-son breakfast, but ultimately it’s your DH’s birthday & he gets to decide.

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