Expectations from out of town guests?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

otterbee :  No it’s your wedding! You’re allowed to do what makes sense logistically for you and too bad they can’t see the house before then but that’s their choice of coming in at that time. They can either see it before or after but that night you have commitments! Any sane person would understand that and not ask that much of the bride the day before her wedding 

 

Post # 3
Member
47286 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
otterbee :  I can understand yoiur guests wanting to spend time with you, but they are pushing it on the unreasonable side. Many, many couples would be having a rehearsal and reheasal dinner on the night befoe the wedding, and not everyone, by any means, includes all the OOT’s.

Are you able to schedule a day after brunch at your home? You can keep it to a simple continental breakfast before guests travel home.

Post # 4
Member
1378 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

They’re coming in the night before the wedding, and want you to “hang out” with them? The night before your wedding.

Bee, say no. I would. It’s stressful enough the night before without having to be worried about entertaining people + travelling to the venue late.

I think they would understand.

Post # 7
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

otterbee :   For me, I would never expect this out of a bride before her wedding and I would hope your guests wouldn’t either. I think you’re being too accommodating 

Post # 9
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

What about taking things up earlier on Friday then going home to greet your guests at around 6pm?  Order pizza or something low key,  hang out,  chat. Make a hard stop time of 9 or 10, even if that means you don’t get to see everybody for very long and head back to your rental. 

You’re only 35 ish min from your house,  to me,  it wouldn’t be a big deal to drive that to eat dinner and see out of downers.

Weddings go so very fast and you’ll be surprised with how little time you spend with any one person. You never know how many days somebody has on this earth… don’t miss seeing them if you can help it. 

Post # 10
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I typed that before I saw your last response,  op. It wasn’t meant about your grandmother. But given that… I still like the idea of making time on Friday night if you can swing it. 

Post # 11
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I would never expect to hang out with a bride the night before her wedding so I could see her apartment 🙄

I don’t know why any reasonable human wouldn’t presume you would be busy/nervous/trying to have an early the night before your wedding, I’m doing some serious side eye over here. 

Keep your plans as they are! 

Post # 13
Member
3400 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
otterbee :  it’s pretty ridiculous for anyone to expect to hang out with the bride or groom THE NIGHT BEFORE their wedding! Like, seriously? Even if it weren’t DIY, you’re just stressed. People can come see your house post-wedding on Saturday or on Sunday. But late Friday is absurd. 

Post # 14
Member
2737 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

View original reply
otterbee :  agree with the other bees, you shouldn’t be expected to hang out all night the night before your wedding! I got married at the courthouse and had to be there at 3:30 PM, woke up super early that day and the time went by so quickly. I felt like I hardly had any time to get ready and do last minute stuff, and that was just for a courthouse wedding. Please take care of as much wedding prep as you can on Friday so you don’t stress yourself out day of. Your friends and family should be understanding. 

 

Post # 15
Member
616 posts
Busy bee

I would never expect a bride to be available to “hang out” the night before her wedding, no matter how far I traveled. That’s just not reasonable.

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