(Closed) Expectations?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@MrsNeutrino: well if she demdands a gift and you give it to her it’s like giving candy to the screaming kid in the candy shop. Why on earth would you give in?

Post # 18
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

if she wants to have so many parties then she should pay for them. I would drop out and give her a card with a reality check in it. she sounds horrible

Post # 19
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wow that is crazy!

My bridesmaids paid for their dresses ($160) and each of them are contributing toward the bachelorette party (nothing huge or expensive) and bringing food items for the bridal shower. I didn’t want them to spend extra money on shoes, so they’re wearing whatever black heels they want and I don’t care if they get their hair/makeup done, so I let them have the option of paying for that if they want. I’m not really expecting gifts from them, since they already had to purchase a dress that they probably won’t wear ever again and their gift is basically putting up with my wedding stress/vents.  

Post # 21
Member
1713 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I wouldnt expect so much of someone so far!!! I think a convo is in need between the maid and Bride! Im sure if put in this light the Bride would most likely understand!

Post # 23
Member
3930 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

see i think this is also important to set expectations right up front.  i hope any girls who haven’t asked their bridesmaids yet can learn from this.  i think since everyone has such different expectations of their girls, it is important to state these when asking.  i told my girls (at least the ones i’ve asked so far), that i 100% understand if they cannot/do not want to spend the money it takes to be in a wedding, and i would in no way be hurt if they declined.  that said, this girl is just bonkers.

Post # 24
Member
2148 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yep…the bride is expecting WAAAAAYYY too much. I wouldn’t do it and that would be that. I would buy my dress and show up at the rehearsal and wedding. At the very least, I would have my brother talk some sense into her. 

I can’t stand for somebody to make arrangements about how I spend MY money. 

Post # 25
Member
3060 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My girls paid for their dresses ($125).  Nails, hair and makeup were all optional but very affordable, I think all of them opted to do it.  They threw me a fun shower, and bachelorette party, but neither were expensive.  They wore whatever black shoes they wanted. 

I think 3 of my 6 bridesmaids got us a wedding gift.  I certainly didn’t expect them to. 

Post # 27
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Yea thats way too much to ask. Im sure she wasnt expecting to have to pay all of that. The only thing im asking my girls to pay for is the dress, which i hope to keep under 150, and thieir transportation/lodging for the wedding.

Post # 28
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My Expectations:

– The Bridesmaid Dress:  I narrowed down the ones they tried on at the store to two different ones.  The first cost $180 and the second cost $200.  I hated to have them spend $200 but that one looked universally good on all of them and it could be worn again for something really nice (the other dress looked more bridesmaid-ey).  So I figured the $200 would be a better investment and speaking to other bridesmaids, this is on the low end of the dress spectrum.  I was told that some have paid $300-$400 for a bridesmaid dress that was hideous.

I did not specify what shoes they wear, as long as they all match.  So they can pick whatever shoes in whatever price range they want.

– The Bridal Shower: I’m sure wherever it is, my mother is paying for some of it.  I don’t know what they have planned.  It’s all up to them how much they want to spend.

– The Bachelorette Party: I have no idea if they have started planning or thinking about this, but I have no involvement so far.  Even if we just go out for drinks,  I’d just like to have a good time.

– I would hope they would contribute a gift to me for my wedding.  I would never say I required anything of them, but as I have already told them I’m paying for their hair at the wedding and I’m getting them a thank you for being my bridesmaid gift (satin bathrobes from VS with their first initial embroidered).  It would be nice if they at least get me something, even just a card.

 

What I have planned for my Bridesmaids:

– I’m paying for their updos at the wedding.

-I’m throwing a thank you bridesmaid luncheon.

– I’m purchasing wedding party gifts for them. (Satin robes at VS with their first initial embroidered on it)

-Of course their food & drinks at the wedding!

Post # 29
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow, that is crazy! I cannot pay for dresses, etc for my bridesmaids, but I would certainly not be upset if they had to wear a dress they already own, or didn’t get their hair or makeup done on the day of. Some brides are just so entitled it drives me mad.

Post # 31
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsNeutrino:  I just feel everyone gives their wedding party jewelry.  I wanted to give them something nice they can re-use.  Satin robes are so nice.  Especially the pretty kimono style ones at Victoria’s secret!

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