Post # 1
So, this is going to make me sound so materialistic…but I thought I’d get a bigger center stone on my ering. I was engaged at 29 and my Fiance is 32. We live in a major metro area and are both very successful. We dated for over 5 years and the day he proposed was the happiest day of my life.
I ended up with a 1.27 center stone in white 14KT gold. I guess I thought at 32 and successful, I’d get platinum bc he’d want the best for me. And he got the ring overseas, where we can’t easily go to to upgrade or make changes. It’s just hard knowing that I waited while all my friends were engaged at 24-25 and they got the same size rings. We are much older, have saved longer, I thought I’d get something that was comparable to metro area I live in which is at LEAST 1.5 for 24-25 year olds.
I never, ever ask him to buy me things…I rarely wear jewelry or anything flashy, but this happened at 29/32…and it’s forever. Most US stores have upgrade policies. Am I wrong to ask for 1.5 – 1.7? I have well below what anyone has around here. I just thought this would be the one thing he would spurge on, but not go into debt.
I’ve already heard things like, “You can upgrade when you are more established” (I look really young) But WE ARE established! “It’s perfect for your hand”, “It’s so cute”
Post # 3
I can kind of see where you’re coming from because you’re older and established…But I think anything over a carat is plenty big!! But that’s just me…
Post # 4
Well, you can’t expect him to read your mind. If you want a 1.5-1.7, you should bring it up. And if you don’t want to, there isn’t a lot you can do.
Or, maybe your Fiance is saving his money for something more practical, like a home or something?
Is it possible he went for quality over size? That maybe your 1.3 center is really stellar quality? Cuz sometimes i think “oh i wish I had a 1.5” but then I realize my stone has some great specs on it and I realize it’s still a “better” stone than what most people end up with because of its colors, clarity, and cut.
Do you think if he got you a 1.5, you’d be wanting a 2.0 though? Maybe nothing is ever big enough?
I should add…sometimes I do regret saying “yes that’s plenty!” when Darling Husband asked me if 1 carat was enough. So I do understand. With my setting, a larger center stone wouldn’t have gotten lost so easily. But, what’s done is done. 10 years will be here before we know it, lol
I definitely made up for it with some blingy wedding bands though and i love it! So you can do a lot with your ring…=]
Post # 5
((HUGS)) maybe because you don’t wear much jewelry he didn’t want to get you anything too ostentatious? You can always get more bling with a wedding band or something like that. By The Way you and your fi are the same age as me and my fi and I got an aquamarine ring, so it’s all relative, definitely take a step back from it because your diamond is probably darn near perfect. and he was probably told if you are a pretty classic woman (which it sounds like you are from your post being relatively non-materialistic) he chose yellow gold which is the timeless, classic choice.
Post # 6
Yikes… I hope your fiance doesn’t read that post.
You said you rarley wear jewelry or anything flashy – I agree with gocubbies – anything over a carat is plenty big (and flashy) IMO. If it’s not enough for you you could consider doing a diamond wedding band with a good amount of diamonds or double bands, or an enhancer.
And as for getting you platinum because he should want the best for you… well… that just sounds stuck up. Sorry, but it’s true. Be happy that you are marrying the man that you love! That’s what matters!
Post # 7
I don’t know about you being “wrong” to ask for a bigger center stone (although I do think its a little bit obsessive that you are tracking age to carat ratios for your city) but I can guarantee you your FH is going to be made unhappy by your asking.
IMO, men have easily bruised egos and if he put a lot of thought into your ring, asking for a bigger center stone is going to make him feel like you don’t appreciate that effort.
Is another quarter carat that big a deal? What is that going to get you in the long run in the relationship?
Post # 8
I agree with Lila. My ring isn’t huge, but I am so happy. I get to marry MY MAN!! I love my ring, because he gave it from the heart. He got the cut and the color of the metal right. The ring isn’t what it’s about anyway, it’s the marriage.
Post # 9
I am in my late twenties and my stone is not big at all. I agree with what the others said–you can definitely up the bling with your wedding band (that’s what I’m doing). And like other said, maybe your Fiance got you a really great quality diamond.
Post # 10
I agree with PP that anything over a carat is pretty big. Mine is 0.80 carats and I can’t imagine going much bigger.
I also agree with EJS that maybe your stone is of exceptional quality. My stone is smaller, but flawless. Fiance probably could have bought a bigger stone that did not look as nice. I always get comments on how much my diamond sparkles.
As for the white gold vs. platinum…maybe he thought you wouldn’t like platinum? No offense to bees who have platinum rings but I personally don’t like the look/color of platinum. My dad, an ex-jeweler also advised me to get white gold. Maybe your Fiance liked the look of white gold better than platinum?
Post # 11
You guys are right. It sounds so horrible of me and I am happy. Truly happy. I waited a while for this and it’s amazing. I don’t track the stats for diamonds in my area…I just know what I see with all the women I work with who are older/younger than I am. We are moving overseas in 2 years and he will be there without me while I plan our wedding over the next 5 months. So we aren’t saving for a house. THe company will pay our housing, etc. And he wants to get himself a rolex to reward himself with something “adult” and nice for all the work he’s been doing. So, I guess It’s hard to hear that knowing this ering is forever and he had the funds. But I am happy with the man I have and the ring I have. It’s just hard hearing obnoxious comments.
Thanks for the perspective.
Post # 12
I think you need to re-read what you wrote and imagine how your fiance would feel reading this. If I were him, I’d be really hurt that the woman I want to marry is concerned that I don’t want the best for her because I chose gold over platinum.
Getting married isn’t about rings and material items, it’s about love and finding your life partner. You should be excited about marrying him and not so concerned over having the right carat for your age.
Post # 13
I understand where you are coming from, Fiance and I had my ring designed so I know how many carats mine would be. Did someone going shopping with him who made have had an influence? MY future Mother-In-Law told Fiance that he should never buy over a carat and his sister have small diamonds. I’m just thinking he may have not known and someone influenced him on his decision.
Post # 14
I am with ejoyb – what will another half carat or quarter carat do exactly? Are you less happy to marry him because of the ring? What about the quality of the stone? Larger isn’t always better.
Platinum is softer and scratches easier so many people prefer white gold for high wear and tear items like rings, considering you wear it every day
Post # 15
I can understand stand being disapointed if your vision was different than what you received. Did you ever let him know what you were hoping for? My husband thought a plain solitare should be just fine because that is what his mom had. He didn’t understand why I might want some design, etc. on the band. At first he thought I was just wanting to ‘follow my peers.’ Even though you are comparing your ring to your friends, maybe his basis of comparison was different (like what family members have or just what he likes). We went looking together to get a better feel for a what we both liked and then he was ok with bling/design on the band. Guys aren’t always so in tune with the fashion and trends…it sound like he did pick something that he thought reflected your personality (since you mentioned you don’t wear tons of jewelry normally).
Post # 16
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
Have you ever tried on a ring with a much larger stone? They can be awkward to wear, especially if you’re not really used to wearing a lot of jewelry. I have an aquamarine that’s 3 carats and it’s just clunky sometimes. I think your fiance was being really thoughtful considering your lifestyle!
Your diamond is large and I’m sure beautiful — trying to keep up with joneses is such an exhausting game, I wouldn’t even try!