(Closed) Expected to plan/attend a morning after wedding brunch too!?!! Really!?!

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would just simply tell her that it’s not going to happen and if she wants one, then she can host it. Even with your FI’s idea of going somewhere local is cool. Don’t let it stress you out. Having brunch is not going to ruin your whole day.

Post # 4
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

I would just tell her that you can’t host it, but if she wants to host then more power to her! The morning after brunch is pretty common around here, usually its at the bride or grooms parents house, very informal. I think its even more common if guests are out of town and spending the night.

I see what you mean, but if she wants to host it just let her. It will only take a few hours of your day.

Post # 5
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s common where I’m from too.  It’s typically a brunch or late morning get together and any presents received are opened in front of those attending.  Most couples start their honeymoon the following day (Monday) or leave late afternoon on Sunday.

BUT if you don’t want to do it, then you shouldn’t be forced to, especially if you’ve been doing all the planning all along without any help or thanks.

Post # 6
Member
10573 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

In my family, a ‘gift opening’ the day after is pretty common.  It’s always in the afternoon, not the morning and I can’t remember going to one where the couple actually opened gifts.  I’ve never seen it done at the couple’s house, always a relative’s (usually the parents).

Post # 7
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

This is a pretty common thing, especially if there are a good number of out of town guests. However, that doesn’t mean you are under an obligation to do this. If your Future Mother-In-Law is set on it she can host it herself. And honestly if she hosts it there’s two less meals you have to worry about cooking that day. 

But it’s your choice.

Post # 9
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We’re not having one, we don’t want one- we just want to relax and spend time with each other. I do NOT think its necessary and something you should only have if you want one. I agree with PP who say if she wants one, host it herself and you guys can stop by for a little while.

Post # 10
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

In my family we usually have a BBQ the day after…but since I did that the first time (the “starter” wedding) I am discontinuing the BBQ tradition. Instead I want a brunch time permitting. In your case like others have said don’t stress, if it is so all important to your Future Mother-In-Law then she can host it. However IF she agrees to host it, I personally would not fight it, it is a couple hours of sharing your husband with family and it will mean alot to your Future Mother-In-Law. Always good to start on the best possible terms!

Post # 12
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

Well that changes things. If your Future Mother-In-Law can’t/won’t have anything to do with planning the brunch than forget about it. You are under no obligation to do this. Just say you don’t have the extra money, won’t have time to get the house ready, whatever. 

Post # 13
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We had a brunch the next day and it was fantastic. It gave my Darling Husband and I time to talk with all of our guests that we didn’t have time to really speak with during the wedding. Where I am from, brunches are very common and usually held at a family member’s house. It is a great way to visit with guests who may be traveling in from out of town. Have you asked your Future Mother-In-Law to pay for the event? Or has she already told you she won’t? Perhaps let her know that a brunch at a restaurant is ok, but she needs to pay for it.

Post # 14
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@MDbride2011: Then just tell her (or have your fiance do it) that you cant afford and dont have time to plan a brunch. Leave it at that.

Post # 15
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@MDbride2011: Day-after wedding brunches are pretty common, but LOL, I agree with your mom! Why pay for brunch if the hotel serves free breakfast!!!

I have a handful of Out of Town guests, but I’m probably not going to do a brunch for several reasons. The hotel that we’re staying at also offers free breakfast, I’m sure quite a few people would prefer to sleep in the day after, we may be leaving for our honeymoon the day after the wedding (don’t know what time), and I feel awkward about opening gifts in front of other people.

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