Post # 17
I would also like to add that I’ve never been invited to a wedding brunch or heard of anyone having one, and I’ve been to really fancy weddings, cheaper weddings, family weddings, and friend’s weddings… so at least in my area (Chicago) its not that common.
Post # 18
I think its reasonable for you to expect to have some quiet time, especially after a stressful wedding weekend. I like the idea of just going someplace but then if you tell people to meet you there, they might get the impression that you are covering the bill. I know its common in some areas but I don’t think a morning after brunch is a must have and if you don’t want to do it, I think its totally fine.
Post # 19
We just do it as a chance to see the Out of Town people a little more. If it works out with your honeymoon plans, I would consider it (maybe not the brunch part!). If you know a friend or someone who lives in the area you could always see if they are willing. They are usually really informal.
Since it’s your Future Mother-In-Law who really wants it, suggest a park to her and let her plan it!
Post # 20
The morning after brunch was surprisingly one of the first things we decided on, heehee. I went to one at my bff/MOH’s wedding – it was just at her house and we all ate the tons of leftovers from her wedding banquet. It was nice because not everyone was invited and we all felt close and they got to enjoy the morning with their closest family and friends. We’ll be doing ours at a restaurant that my family has gone to for years so the owners knows us all by name, and it’s super cheap and delicious! I’m not sure we would do one if it wasn’t so affordable. I certainly don’t think everyone does it, or that it’s mandatory in any way, or that people would think anything odd if you didn’t have one (I’m in SF).
I second the PPs who say that you or your Fiance just need to tell your Future Mother-In-Law that you can’t afford it but if she wants to host it (knowing she will say no), she can either have it at her house or a nearby restaurant.
Post # 21
I feel your pain! My Future Mother-In-Law not only wants to do a lunch/gift-opening at her house (an hour from the reception/hotel) she expects Fiance and I to go to church and breakfast the next morning to quote “celebrate Mother’s and Father’s Day”. Fiance and I (especially me) do NOT want to do this. I told Fiance we can go to church Sunday night when we get home if we have to – but I fully plan on taking advantage of room service and the jacuzzi bathtub Sunday morning. Not sure how that’s going to go down yet – we did get it changed from gifts to just lunch, partyly because my Maid/Matron of Honor (FMIL’s neice) flat out told her that I didn’t want to do it.
Have your Fiance tell your Future Mother-In-Law she can plan it if you want – you want to relax and have some quiet time. Maybe something like a lunch would work better if you feel you have to do something? but definitely if there is free breakfast – tell them to take advantage of that.
Post # 22
My sister did a brunch, but the wedding was a destination wedding basically (everyone was 1-3 hours away, some of us further, like myself). His parents paid for it though.
We’ve talked about hosting something at our house the day after, and my sister even offered to come over and help setup/cook. Not sure yet – considering all hotels have free breakfast here. With our wedding, my entire family is traveling from 3+ hours away, whereas FI’s family is all 30mins to an hour, so his won’t be staying at a hotel. I don’t mind doing something at my house though, since it’s a chance to see my family.
If people lived closer, I don’t think I’d even consider it..
Our ‘temp honeymoon’ is going to be the week after, as our wedding is on a Sunday. We decided to just rent a beach house for a week since it’s hurricane season. This way we can bring the furballs!
Post # 23
I’m with the OP – I had never heard of a day after brunch until coming to the bee. It’s not common where I’m from (or at least in my circle) either.
Post # 24
This is defintely something that we don’t do in our social circle either. However, I think its a great idea IF the couple chooses to do it or if the family hosts (and pays) for with a couples consent. You don’t want to and shouldn’t be bullied into it. Why should any couple have to negotiate privacy for the day after their wedding if they don’t want to? Thats crazy.