(Closed) Expecting Bridal Party to Throw Engagement Party.. 1.5 yrs after Engagement?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

Sorry. I’ve never heard of a bridal party throwing an engagement party. That is something done by either family (bride or groom’s). Her expectations are quite off in my world!

Post # 4
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yeah that whole thing seems strange. I’m of the mindset that no one in your bridal party has to do anything except show up for the wedding and rehearsal dinner and wear the right thing (within reason). I would definitely not expect anyone to throw me a party, especially when the timing and expense seem to exceed what the bridal party is capable of accommodating. Maybe if she wants to get everyone together at the “fabulous place” she can host a bridal luncheon there. 

Post # 5
Member
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Um what? First, I think the ship has sailed on the engagement party. I’m of the opinion those should be thrown within the first few months of the engagement. Two, I have NEVER heard of the bridal party throwing the engagement party (ditto for the morning after brunch). I wouldn’t plan the party for her.

Post # 6
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

the engagement party is not the bridal party’s responsibility. it’s up to the parents/family to annouce the engagement. she has unrealistic expectaions. you definitely need to have a talk with her.

our engagement party was 1 year after our engagement due to scheduling and Out of Town family.

Post # 7
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

That seems a bit bridezilla to me. Although, if she doesn’t tell her entire bridal party about the soiree, what can she do if it doesn’t happen?

Post # 8
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow! You guys aren’t supposed to throw the engagement party or the brunch. That’s one heck of a financial burder she’s trying to throw on you. I know she’s not going to take it well, but you need to approach her now and ask her exactly how much everything is going to cost. Include the dress, the shoes, any ‘extras’ and which parties she’s expecting. If she backs down and just says the shower and the bach, go with it. If she can’t tell you she wants an e-party to your face, pretend like you never heard from married Bridesmaid or Best Man.

If she does list everything under the sun, explain to her that you can’t afford all of that. I’m guessing she’s also going to want to put you in really expensive Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, so be very honest about what you can afford.

Post # 9
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agre with PPs.  You’re only supposed to plan  shower and batchelorette, and you are supposed to do that on your own budget and terms, not what she tells you.

I’d be careful being so detailed, if she told you about WB she is probably lurcking around here too.

Post # 10
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Um….nooooo. I think if a bride wants an engagement party and their parents aren’t paying, she (and FI) can throw it themselves.

Post # 12
Member
430 posts
Helper bee

agree with other posters, this is redic!

sooo, if you’re kind of painted into a corner though about having to do this, cant you sort of passive agressively organise the event to be somewhere ‘unique and special’ rather than ‘fabulous’ or whatever she demanded.. maybe it will even work out to be more special than some pricey venue event anyway!

places like aquariums or zoos have special function packages that would be really cool, or do you know someone with a great house? . . i think engagement parties are great at a family members house.

Also, cant you talk to the parents about this? i think most parents would find this embarrassing and almost insist to cover it.

 

Post # 14
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Bride to be is serious? For real? Wow, umm yeah no. What a snotty little princess! Agree it is not at all the BM’s responsibility to throw her that crap, nor pay, nor plan. Sorry, but I would have laughed in her face.

Post # 16
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sunkissed: bridal party members do not throw the e-party and what’s the point of doing it after so long? They are about to get married. Tell her that you will throw her an awesome b-party. If she doesn’t like it, then tell her to plan her e-party herself.

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