I am brand new to weddinbee but have been lurking here for the past month since Ive been asked to serve as bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding. She actually let me in on WB. Very glad she did!
I have a questions for you guys, but first the scenario-
Said bride is expecting her bridal party (read bridesmaids) to throw her an engagement party, a yr and a half after she became engaged. She has set the date for when she wants this party and has specified she wants it held at a “fabulos place” (read pricey hotel/restaurant others may name drop). That makes me a little uneasy. The date falls on a very busy weekend- mother’s day, graduation, and another wedding- so the concern is booking a “fabulous” venue during this time without facing already booked venues or paying a huge markup. Btw, bride is not flexible with the date.
She has not informed the entire bridal party about her ‘expectation’ of this party, not even her maid of honor. She informed another bridesmaid who was a bride last year and our bride-to-be was one of her bridesmaids. For this bridesmaid’s wedding, her bridal party voluntarily threw her an engagement party that was meant to be a surprise to her and her groom. Also, I’ve learned that this bridemaid’s bridal party are more established financially, a few yrs older than us and could do so. Lucky girl! But, Im afraid our bride-to-be has the expectation of the same, even though most of her own bridesmaids are younger and less financially able to throw many parties she’s expecting- engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party and possibly a day after brunch.
Because she has not informed all of us of her “request” for the engagement party, she is expecting the married bridesmaid to “suggest” to us that we throw this party as a surprise to her. Come again? The married bridesmaid told me that she asked bride if she has approached her or groom’s parents about an engagement (traditionally they host the party?) and she said “no, you guys are going to do it.” *crickets* Part of me thinks she is in competition with other weddings she’s been apart of or of other friends’ weddings she’s been to/heard about. Poor married bridesmaid. I bet she will be made to feel indebted for the bride-to-be’s participation in her wedding.
Because our bride’s maid of honor lives out of state, it seems like she is not expected to do much, i.e. coordinate parties, dress shopping, vendor meetings. Looks like the married bridesmaid is expected to play Maid/Matron of Honor and do these things because it was done for her. But married let me know that these things were done for her voluntarily by her girls and that is the difference. Not sure if that makes a difference to our bride though
Questions- Is she being unreasonable with expecting us to throw this party, especially considering she hasnt even shared this “request” with us all? Shouldn’t bride-to-be be sharing this with maid of honor to coordinate? How parties are we expected to throw (within reason of course)?
I know we should probably have a sit down with her to discuss roles and expectations but Im afraid it wont go well since she is so set on having everything done for her that was done for other friends’ weddings.