Post # 1
So my best friend is getting married in May. She got her wedding dress at a consignment shop for $60, which is awesome right? Well she asked the bridesmaids to purchase dresses from davids bridal, which are $150. No problem we ordered them. Now she is asking us to buy matching shoes also which seems ridiculous to me to have the bridal party spend double on our attire than the bride did on hers. This is supposed to be a low budget wedding but it seems like the bridesmaids are being asked to spend an awful lot of money. Would it make me a bad person if I told her that I can’t afford to spend any more money on shoes to go with the dress?
Post # 3
I would feel a bit irked like you, but Im not sure how to really respond since Ive never been in this situation. Im assuming that if you didnt know the price of the dress, then these amounts wouldnt be a problem? I would just ask her if all of you could wear your own shoes in the desire color (if you have them). IMO if its a low budget wedding, I would think that the bride would be a bit more sensitive to the fact that her bridesmaids are included in this range. Hell, I would feel horrible if I had my bridesmaids buying dresses and accessories that were more expensive than my own! Its a bit unfair.
Post # 4
I think it’s fine for you to tell her you’re having trouble paying for the shoes, but I don’t think you should compare the price to the price of her dress to make your point. Does that make sense?
Post # 5
@Beluga: That does make sense, I can see how that might upset her. Thanks for a little perspective!
Post # 6
@misschickpea: I think I’ll just ask if it’s ok for us to all wear black shoes since 2 of the 4 of us BM’s are college students and it was a stretch for the dress anyway. Thank you for your help!
Post # 7
@lost1o4: Oh man I’m trying so hard to keep my girls dresses and shoes cheap for them so they don’t feel this way =( I don’t want them to have to spend over $80 on everything together… It’s pretty tough though. I hope you get it all worked out! (if I compared my girls dress prices to mine they’d be in trouble… my dress is $1800)
Post # 8
As a bridesmaid, I have always told the bride to pick any dress she wanted at a maximum price of $200. Since all the dresses were darker colors and long, I said I would wear black shoes. I just wasn’t spending $$$ on matching shoes for every dress when you wouldn’t even see them. I might have made an exception if someone had a light dress and I could buy a metallic that could be worn again.
If your shoes won’t show, I think it is very reasonable request. If they will show, you can probably have them re-dyed black after the wedding.
Post # 9
Having been on both sides of this, be understanding that it’s not always easy to find a dress that is cost effective for all your bridesmaids budgets. I wouldn’t get snarky about money b/c it’s already a delicate subject ESPECIALLY if she’s planning a budget conscience wedding. It’s all about the way you present it to her…mention to her that you read about a girl letting her bridesmaids pick their own shoes b/c it allowed them to express their individuality or fashion style, etc. Anyway, you get the point. Just be delicate and in the end be prepared to have to suck it up.
Post # 10
IMO, she should be sensitive to the bridesmaids expenses since she is attentive to her own expenses. Like bluga said, don’t talk about her wedding dress… she has a lot of other things to pay for too that will probably be way more than your dress and shoes, etc. But I would tell her that you stretched your money for the dress and really can’t afford to buy any shoes. Tell her that you have a few shoes at home that she can see, and hopefully those will suffice.
My mom is trying to pressure me to have the BMs wear the same shoes. I have been money conscious from the start and told her no (several times). We compromised and they will be wearing the same color. Haha, but I did tell them they can wear heels, flat, flip flops whatever. I really don’t care.