Ex's gf is sending me pics!

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
961 posts
Busy bee

An ex I didn’t want any more and a psycho woman who trapped him and made him miserable sending photos of their “little family” would actually be funny to me, like those dark some e-card things. That’s so sad and sick and obsessive that it would make me feel sorry for them.

I would try shifting things over to the new e-mail address and see if you can make some automatic filters look for “annon ymous” and names outside of your contacts so that they are all filtered to your junk folder. If you want to keep them there so you have a potential court record, fine. But don’t read them. You don’t want to interact at all, or it will encourage her psychosis.  I wouldn’t want her to see they were even read.

Your struggles with having a child or adopting are a different matter, and I’m sorry your ex was such scum that he shared your personal health and emotional struggles with another woman. I have no respect for that.

This woman is miserable and probably realized she trapped him, and his driving herself crazy with her own type of pain and unhealthy mental thoughts.  Just disengage as much as possible.

Post # 18
Member
545 posts
Busy bee

find out how to save the emails and isolate the sender data to locate the sending IP address. this can show it is her for a restraining order against the harrasment.

Post # 19
Member
1122 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Threaten her with going to the cops if she doesn’t leave you alone. She doesn’t know they said you don’t have enough to get a restraining order. She’s pathetic and jealous of you still. What a harpy. I’m so sorry!

 

Post # 20
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Id text ex saying how i want him back now and how ive always loved him. Then id send her his response and tell her thanks for being an incubator im going to love raising the child.

 

Ok maybe not…but id want to mind screw that girl.

Post # 23
Member
5021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I realize it would be inconvenient to change e-mail addresses after a decade plus of use but in this case you really have to consider what is worse, harassment from ex’s baby mama or time and effort to switch everything over to a new account?

It seems like a much easier solution than going some legal route to file harassment charges and/or getting a restraining order.

While you’re at it, change your phone number and also make sure any online/social media account privacy settings are on lock down.

Post # 24
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

View original reply
hbraerae :  What I would like to know is why any of this is of your concern and why you are paying any mind to either one of these individuals. 

I agree with others to get a restraining order. Sometimes all it takes is going to the police and one phone call from them to put a stop to the behavior something to the effect of ‘Stop contacting Miss X or you will have a restraining order put on you which will go on your permanant record and effect your babies future’. Period. End. 

Post # 25
Member
11434 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
hbraerae :  just remember that he is only using you to hurt her. He doesn’t love you or miss you, he is full of crap and a very rotten person who pits people against one another to inflate his puny ego.

so she’s running around seeing you as a threat, because he is feeding her that so he can control her. 

You were right to back away, no good will come of speaking to either of them. 

Letting her or him know this is upsetting is like giving cash to a thief. That is what they want. 

Instead, gray rock them forever. They don’t exist. When you see her pathetic attempts to hurt you, remember she is doing what she’s been programmed by him to do. She’s pathetic, sadly. But not your problem.

Gray rock her. Gray rock her stupid emails.

Post # 26
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Okay this is AWFUL and I’m so sorry you have to deal with such a nasty person.

I sincerely think the best way to get her to stop is to start replying super nicely – along the lines of “oh my gosh you guys look so cute!! I’m so glad you’re happy 😊”. Obviously this is 10000% untrue, but it will completely ruin whatever sick joy she gets out of sending them. Nothing sends a stronger message of “I couldn’t care less” while also making her feel like shit, because obviously she is NOT happy (or else she wouldn’t be sending you these horrible emails).

Good luck!!

Post # 27
Member
11348 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
hbraerae :  

Change your email.  It’s unfortunate you have to go through the hassle, but you do.  Block both of them everywhere.

It would be better if you hadn’t allowed her to get as far as she did.  It’s the old chestnut about the camel’s nose under the tent.  But, what’s done is done.  

Do not engage with either of them, under any circumstances.  Any contact, even if it’s to tell them to stop contacting you will be perceived as an open line.

Your ex is not innocent in any of this, so No Contact extends to him as well.

Typically, people like her run out of steam when they repeatedly fail to get you to react.  It may take awhile for her to catch on that it’s game over.

Post # 28
Member
9426 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

Automatically delete emails from anonymous senders with attachments. This is just good practice in general, even if you didn’t have to deal with her.

I know it seems hard switching to a new email but I did it 2 yrs ago, after decades with my old hotmail (I finally was embarrassed to use Hotmail hah) and it did take some effort and I do still check once in a blue moon if I can’t find an order invoice for example but really for the most part the switch was complete within a week.  After that it’s just switching websites you had forgotten to switch over. 

Post # 30
Member
10206 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I had another thought. Maybe you should start sending her pictures back!

But I would send heinous awful shit that would mentally scar her so you would need a strong stomach for this strategy. 

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