(Closed) Extended-extended Family?! (LONG)

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Uhhmmm…I had a similar problem very recently regarding my shower.  My mother insisted on inviting a few people that I did not plan on inviting to the wedding and who did not receive Save the Date cards (they were sent out early b/c our wedding is a week before Christmas).

Anyway, it was only a few people…and I ended up giving in.  Problem:they did not show up and now I feel like I have to invite them to the wedding anyway!!!  HELLO!  Even just inviting people to a wedding costs money (Invitation and stamps!)

We expect about 200 people and my Fiance are paying for a vast majority of the wedding ourselves, plus we just don’t want people there that we don’t know very well.

Sooo, my advice is to stick to your guns.  DO NOT let his grandmother invite these people!!!  Both you and your Fiance should explain to her that you think its tacky to invite someone to a shower without inviting them to the wedding.  And, at this point your wedding list is final and you’d like to keep the day as intimate and small as possible.  The fact that they might bring great gifts is totally besides the point.

Good Luck!

Post # 5
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I too had a very similar situation.  My FI’s family originally wanted to invite all of their extended family to the wedding and we politely told them that we would not be able to do that.  We told them that we would only be inviting immediate family, aunts/uncles, 1st cousins, and close friends.  They didn’t understand at first, but it was realized that we were paying for the wedding so they couldn’t say much. Then my Future Mother-In-Law said she wanted to have a shower in my FI’s hometown.  I knew she was thinking of inviting some folks that would not be invited to the wedding and I told her point blank that you are not supposed to invite people to showers unless they get invited to the wedding and because we can’t invite them, it would make me uncomfortable to have them at the shower.  You just need to be up front an honest.

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