Post # 1
When creating your guest list, what rules did you use when deciding to invite extended family?
I have 3 adult cousins who I only see about once a year at Christmas time (at most twice a year) when I go home to visit my parents. My parents tend to see them more often but only because they live in the same area.
My immediate thought was not to invite the cousins, not that I don’t love them but because I rarely see them, plus we just don’t have room in our small wedding to invite their spouses as well.
I’m sure the first repsonse from family to this will be “it’s only 3 cousins, not 10! That’s not that many people.” Unfortuantely our venue only allows for 24 guests (basically 12 people plus their spouses).
If this doesn’t seem fair to cut the 3 cousins, my next step would be to cut all aunts, uncles and cousins and just invite our parents and close friends and then have a post-wedding celebration in our home town a month or so later.
Post # 3
@islanderbride: I think its ok to not invite the cousins as long as you are consistent. You’re having a very small wedding, so just inviting parents, siblings, (grandparents?) and friends should be perfectly acceptable. If you want to have a larger gathering later you can, but you don’t have to.
Post # 4
yes deffinately do a post celebration with everyone, if you want to keep costs low make it a pot luck so everyone can come. I would even send out invites for the post just so people know they are wanted there and they are important regardless of the ceremony guest list.
Post # 5
I feel that if you invite the cousins, you have to invite their spouses. Imagine if someone invited your future husband and not you to a wedding! That would feel awful. Now, since you can’t fit 6 more people, then I would say, have a post-wedding celebration. I like the idea of a potluck, or you could just do a wine and cheese, post-dinner event, or a cheaper daytime event like a BBQ. I’d probably not invite the aunts and uncles either to be fair, but if it is meaningful to have them there then you should.
Post # 6
My parents were adament that all extended family must be invited. This was not negotiable for them. So we invited all extended family that we speak to, regardless of how often we see them. And when I say extended I really do mean extended. My 4th cousins came from abroad to attend. It was a great opportunity to see them and catch up, (we haven’t seen each other in like 15 years althuogh we do talk on the phone).