Post # 1
Ohhh my lord. I know there are a ton of other boards about this same topic but I need to vent. So mad right now.. I just get an email that an ex wife of my estranged father’s second cousin (got that straight??) who I met once 20 years ago POSTED ON MY FACEBOOK WALL that she wants the details of my wedding so that she can buy a plane ticket across the country for her drug addicted 19 year old daughter because she still keeps in touch with my 18 year old cousin, and they want to hang out and visit each other at college this year “and we thought your wedding would be a good time”. UM, no. Sorry. I am not even planning on responding. Thoughts?!
Post # 3
Ack! I had a relative do the same thing just yesterday! I’m sorry :/
Post # 4
Wow! So basically they just want to use your wedding to get together, not because they want to share your moment with you. I wouldnt write back either or I would say I was pretty much at my max for inviting people.
Post # 5
I would send her a private message and say “I’m sorry but space at our venue is limited and we can’t invite everyone. <Cousin> and <drug addict> can get together another time and will have plenty of fun.”
Not responding opens the door for her to think that it’s ok for her to find the info somewhere else and spring this kid on you at your wedding. Tell her no, in no uncertain terms now so that this won’t be an issue later.
Post # 6
@zomgwut: +1. If she thinks it’s ok to do what she did, she will likely take silence as “it’s ok.”
Post # 7
I would delete the comment and say “we are already at max capacity. Maybe we can catch up some other time”
Post # 8
@zomgwut: has the right idea. If you don’t address its swiftly and head on, you going to keep having to deal with it. Nip it in the bud.
Post # 9
Ugh! That is super annoying!! I would sy what a previous sposter wrote that you are at max capacity and cant invite anyone else
Post # 10
@bklynbridetobe: Thank you for saying bud and not “Butt”
People never cease to amaze me. I agree, say something like “our guest list is set. Hopefully they can catch up another time!”
Post # 11
Tell her the date, but that your cousin (or whoever it is that needs a plane ticket) is not invited.
Post # 12
@MrsPeachMartini: happens to me all the time and i just let them know it’s an intimate wedding so it’s invitation only. And if they continue I tell them straight up you are not invited!
Post # 13
@zomgwut: Absolutely. OP, make sure you address it directly or she might just send the daughter anyway. I would send a private message and explain that you are limited due to space and that you are already at maximum capacity. Just don’t mention budget (not sure you would, but just in case) because there are plenty of horror stories on the Bee of people offering to pay to attend. Good luck dealing with this incredibly rude woman!
Post # 14
So, I gave myself a few hours to cool off before private messaging her… went to the gym, was making dinner (+a glass of red, of course) when I get an email that another one of my aunts commented on her comment about what a great idea it is, and told her all of the dates and location and flight info!! aaaahhhh!!!! by the time I’d sprinted over to my laptop they’d already exchanged 4 or 5 messages (they must have been online at the same time, using my wall as a chat room). I did what you guys recommended, just “due to the venue, blah blah, hopefully the girls find another weekend to catch up”. and DEAD SILENCE for an hour. Then the original woman just says “that’s a shame”. For real?! When did it become okay to invite obscure relatives to someone else’s wedding? What adult woman wouldn’t understand this, after having planned her own weddings before? Drives me nuts. At least it was resolved. I just wish it didn’t have to be on my freaking facebook wall.
Post # 15
I think this is a good reminder to censor what you post on FB. Not everyone is going to be invited to your wedding and so might not appreciate constant updates about it (not saying you are…) but take into consideration if people aren’t invited, how they will feel if you are constantly updating about it.
Post # 16
This is one reason I’m glad I deleted my FB account. Glad it worked out!