- 10 years ago
- Wedding: October 2009
I feel like I’ve read a few of these posts in the past about best friends or bridemaids not being able to come and I’ve always empathized with the Bee but had no idea what it felt like. I’ve always thought, just brush it off your shoulder and move forward. And then it happens to me, and it hurt. Bad. And now I completely understand why it’s not to so easy to get over….
Let me preface this by saying that while I have a good amount of “friends” and social buddies, I only have (had) 2 best friends my whole life. The first friend has sort of drifted away a bit since she has a house, husband, and child (all normal of course). But then she moved to the boondocks in Pennsylvania and if I saw her 2x a year it was a miracle. So now we just communicate by email and are still friends…but not with the same connection or bond we used to have. So it was a given that she wouldn’t be coming to my destination wedding in Mexico.
But my other best friend and I (let’s call her Miss Orb), are still close and although I don’t see her as often as I’d like, because she too has a child and for some reason is always busy with work or the like. I still consider her my best friend and counted on her coming. In fact, she’s my Maid/Matron of Honor. And I went to her destination wedding (at least it was for me) in Tennesse–because there’d be nothing that could have kept me away from seeing my best friend get married. I thought she felt the same way.
Granted, there’s financial difficulties for her and she has a 2yr old child that also makes the traveling/planning more difficult. But when she told me she ws being realistic and she might as well tell me now that she won’t likely come, my heart dropped. I’ll be surrounded by my family and friends, but no best friend. Of course, I immedialty offered to pay for her far, and have her bunk with me–leaving only her child’s fare as her responsibility. I even told her not to worry about a dress because I’d buy that for her too, and she still declined. Her reasoning? She’s having money trouble, and doesn’t want to leave her daughter, but bringing her would be too much of a hassle, and that she already owes me so much from past presents/gifts/favors–that she just can not accept my offer of ticket/room/etc.
She says she feels bad, and is not being selfish, and still wants to be involved.
But I’m upset and think she is being selfish. If she really wanted to make it, she’d take me up on the offer. Who would miss their best friend’s wedding?
Am I wrong in feeling how I do? Wouldn’t you bend over backwards to attend your Bf’s wedding, especially if she’s offered help?