(Closed) Extremely Long – Passive/Agressive MOH bails on Frenemy Bride

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

This woman treats you and others like dirt and you are apologizing for her??? Where did you hurt her?


Post # 5
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Wow. That was probably the longest post I have ever actually read through, only because I kept wondering “What next?” Lol. That is a LOT of drama, and while I do think you were passive-aggressive, I think she was definitely doing it more. When someone says “You can back out of the party,” what I hear is “I no longer want you in it,” which I think is also what you heard.

If I were in your shoes, I may have handled the end part a bit differently but with the same result. I would have backed out and said “I think I’ll be better use to you by just being a loving guest/friend” or something. I know myself well enough to know that I would also be slipping out of the friendship at that point as well though. I can’t stand people that act the way she has been acting towards you or your other friends. Very controlling and manipulative.

I’m not sure what you’re looking for as a response, but I think you did the right thing for you and she doesn’t seem too torn up about it (genuinely, not on the surface, ladybug). I lol’d at ladybug btw. I call my little sister that…not my friends.

Post # 6
11 posts
  • Wedding: June 2011

TOO much drama for me.  We are grown women, I don’t think you should feel guilty for backing out.  Yes the Maid/Matron of Honor needs to dedicate time and patience to the bride, but the bride also needs to respect that although her wedding is the most important event in HER life – everyone else cannot afford to just drop everything and orbit around her.  Being a bride, I have done what I can to be very careful when walking down that line.  And I still feel guilty in some instances for asking extra of all my bridesmaids.  A friendship should be two sided, and although you admit to some flaws, I think Jane needs to step back and gain some perspective on a few things.  If you still invited, you can be a supportive guest of her wedding, but let someone else handle the drama of all the planning details.  Time to enjoy yourself around her for once!

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