Post # 1
Any other brides out there who are extremely shy and how did you cope with it?
I am really shy and always have been. In fact I’m pretty sure I have a social anxiety disorder even though I’ve never been officially diagnosed. Here’s an example to demonstrate: A while back I went into a very small gym (at school) and there was pretty much no exercise equipment. I was overcome but an overwhelming feeling that everyone was looking at me and had to leave.
So why am I having a wedding? I ask myself that too. I think I don’t want to look back and regret not having one because I know I would.
Any brides going through anything similar or have had a wedding with a similar problem? We’re shooting for around 100 guests nothing too big. It’s not all the people that bother me it’s the idea of all the people looking at me. So far, I have nixed the idea of a sweetheart table or a head table, I think we are going to skip the toast and we will definitely be skipping the bouquet toss/garter toss (not just because of the attention but it’s not really something I want to do). That leaves the announcements and the first dance/parents dance, as well as the actual wedding (which is a short on-site ceremony). I try not to thing about it too much because it’s still pretty far away but it freaks me out when I think about it.
I mentioned my feelings to my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor and they just kind of took the tack that since I’m getting married I’ll have to get over it. And I know it’s something I have to deal with but that’s not really the kind of support I am looking for.
Post # 3
I consider myself very introverted and I thought that having a wedding would feel sort of uncomfortable to me. I’m not necessarily afraid of people looking at me, but I feel very overwhelmed in crowds and tend to have some anxiety in social situations. And honestly I did feel a pretty nervous the day before… All these horrible what if situations kept going through my mind, although none of them actually happened. The day of I actually was less nervous, but still didn’t feel peaceful. And then my Fiance and I did our first look and I felt much better. And there was a time at the reception when I started to get tired and anxious and overwhelmed and I went upstairs to the bridal suite for about two minutes to just take a deep breath and then I came back and was fine. I really found that for the most part I felt relaxed and happy because the people around me were my closest friends and family. I didn’t have nearly as much anxiety as I thought because these are the people I would trust with my life. I’m not sure if that helped at all, but just remember your Fiance will be by your side the whole time, and if you get overwhelmed, just take a little break. Just a tip for your first dance, pick a short song or cut it off early because ours was soooooo long and it felt weird. That way people will have less time to look at you!
Post # 4
Thanks! We went to a wedding earlier this year that didn’t have a bridal suite and I am SO glad that our place has a beautiful one for us to use. It’s great to know that there’s somewhere I can go when I need a minute (or five) away from the guests.
Post # 5
Well, I actually have been diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder.. heh… just a few months ago I managed to get off my medication for it with my fiance’s help. For the wedding… well! I very brutally cut my guest list down to fifty people, because I know if there was even one more I would not be okay. Every single person there (except for one couple my Future Mother-In-Law invited without asking me, I freak out about this every so often when creating my invitations) is very special and dear to me, and is fully aware of how I feel about the attention. Therefore, I know everyone will be very understanding when I have to leave the room for any amount of time.
My plan for the wedding is to just focus on my future husband. I have informed him that he is not to leave my sight for a moment on that day, and he has happily agreed. As long as I am holding his hand and focusing on why I am putting myself through the agony of having attention on me – to marry him, that is – I hope I will make it through. Have you talked about this a lot with your FH? Make sure he knows how to support you, especially if your Mother doesn’t! Tell him how you feel and things he could do to help you feel okay. Mine really likes that, so he doesn’t have to guess how to fix things. I dunno.
I am also cutting the sweetheart’s table (makes you the center of the room, right?) and the tossing of various things, as well. I hope we can make it through by relying on good guests and our dear FHs. Be strong, my fellow shy-bride.
Post # 6
Try to keep your guest list to people you really know and love and are close to you. This way you’ll feel more at home because it’s your family looking at you, not 100 strangers that you don’t know. Just think of all the love you’ll feel coming from your family. These people have seen you grow up and hopefully know a lot about you and your Fiance. So they won’t be just staring at you, the’ll be looking at you and thinking of what a beautiful woman you’ve turned out to be and how happy you’ll be in your new life!
I’m not a very shy person but holding my husband’s hand during the whole wedding was very important to me. I felt safe and protected with him at my side. honestly when I did the first dance ( which was the only thing that caused me anxiety) I just forgot about the world around us and looked into his eyes and sung the song with him as we danced. I literally don’t remember anything else that happened at that time.
For me it didn’t feel like 150 people looking at me, it was more like “oh hey there’s ____ who I haven’t seen in a while, oh and there’s ____ who I’m excited to go and hug!”
Because you probably feel comfortable around your mom and Maid/Matron of Honor and probably have been for a long time, they might not realize how hard it is for you. Try to describe the way you feel to them and come up with a plan together just in case you start hyperventilating while walking down the aisle 😉 .