Post # 1
We have been together since 2011. The question popped in 2015 Early of the year and so the preparations has begun for our engagement ceremony in nov. Everything was all happy and excited till october. F started to drift away. He is being cold (Most of the time) i started to realise it but decided not to pay attention on it some said it is normal to have cold feet. And so we did proceed with the engagement.
But the thing i am afraid off is still there. F is still being cold. I went travelling for 2 weeks and no phones allowed. no contacts at all, F texted me everyday to update what is going on in his daily life. I was all excited to receive 14 days of text messages. That one month we are happy discussing the preparation. Where to get our clothes, which photographer should we take, what type of ceremony we want. And that is only for that whole month. Suddenly he started to drift away, AGAIN.
We are supposed to get married this coming oct. i cant stand it so i asked him do you love me, “yes”. He even said he will not find anybody like me again. His family loves me too. They will never forget to invite me to any events at their house. His mom or sister texted me themselves. Do you want to be married? “Yes, IGUESS”. That is the prob to me right there. i even talked to him about our marriage. he did ask me if we can postpone the date. My parents prefer it to be in 2015 as well and they dont mind to drag it to dec. He answered discuss it with his mother he will just follow. If i want to survey any planners, he will just accompany me.
some said when the family is okay, he will come around. he is being a normal guy getting married. I dont know you girls but is it hard a girl wants a guy who is also as excited? After i propose some new dates to be married, i did not speak of that topic again. it has been 1 week. Will he come around anytime soon? what should u do now? Help !
Post # 2
Maybe he just doesn’t like wedding planning? Some people aren’t into it and don’t get excited by the details. Can you plan fun things/dates without taking non stop about the wedding?
Post # 3
If he asked you to postpone the date, that should be really all the indication you need to pause your planning and take a deeper look at what is going on. Even if your parents want you to get married this year, hopefully they wouldn’t push for that knowing that there are issues the two of you need to work out.
Post # 4
My Fiance can be the same way. He loves me and is happy to be with me but he’s not into the wedding planning. He doesn’t really have an opinion on much of the options other than the most significant ones, and even then I could probably just go forward without asking. He’s said that he will be excited when we get there and it’s actually happening but that he’s just going with the flow until then.
He’s also not a very outwardly emotional person, which can be difficult if your Fiance is like that and you are more like me…more emotional with the person you are with. In the end you have to either trust that he means what he says when he says he loves you and is happy, and that he’s just not overly excited about the process of getting married, or decide he’s not the one for you.
You mentioned an “engagement ceremony” which leads me to think you’re part of a culture that has very big traditions surrounding weddings (the only time I’ve heard of this is a Muslim friend of mine who had a traditional engagement ceremony and it was HUGE, with all the family from both sides). Maybe the scale of the preparations and celebrations to come are a little intimidating to him? He might be happy about the prospect of marriage but not the actual process of GETTING married.
Post # 5
” If he asked you to postpone the date, that should be really all the indication you need to pause your planning and take a deeper look at what is going on.”