Post # 1
I know, I know, it’s just Facebook and it doesn’t mean anything and who really cares, but I’m still wondering..
My sister dated a guy for 4 years and he became a part of our family. After they broke up (two years ago) the families remained friends so we all stayed friends with him on FB. I honestly didn’t think much about it because he was just on there, it’s not like we chatted on there, just happy bday and sometimes liked pictures. It didn’t mean anything, especially since they are still friends and had a good breakup. I would have unfriended him if she cared but she said it didn’t bother her.
Then today I was looking for a picture on my FSIL’s FB and I noticed that she’s still friends with my guy’s ex-wife (who did some pretty shady things to him after their divorce!), I was kind of surprised. Obviously I know it’s 100% non of my business and I would never dream of ever saying anything to her about it but it got me wondering… is there any FB etiquette after a breakup? Do you wish there was? What do you do personally?
Post # 3
I am friends with my ex husband, his new wife and all of his family on FB still.
Post # 4
@eeniebeans: thats nice I think! I deleted everyone who had anything to do with my ex as soon as the divorce was filed lol
Post # 5
meh. I don’t believe in having to cut off friendships just because Friend A hates Friend B and I’m in the middle nor cut off everybody else because I’m no longer friends with this one person. FB is irritating with that sort of thing anyway, with unnecessary drama coming out of who’s friends with who. I’m pretty indifferent, BUT I will say that I’ve never had ex-husbands etc. so I don’t know how I would react in that situation.
Post # 6
to each their own. my brother has been divorced 2x and both of his ex-wives are fb friends of mine and with each other. (i still don’t get that one).
Post # 7
I blocked my exH and all his family/friends while the divorce was pending and still have them blocked (divorce has been final for awhile) because I don’t want him to know any details of my life and stalk me.
That said, my parents, siblings and other family are still friends with him on FB. I don’t care as long as they don’t put any info about me where he can see it.
Post # 8
I don’t think there’s etiquette to this because there’s absolutely zero etiquette to Facebook (hey, thanks for inventing a tool where parents can tell me about their kid’s poops, Zuckerberg!)
A lot of people don’t think much of who they have on facebook, somepeople have 8000 friends, some people 8. Unless you know how she uses it and what her FB “friends” mean in terms of her real life relationships, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it.
Again, it’s a tool where you find out about poop. Not worth stressing over! 🙂
Post # 9
I have a couple of my exes as FB friends, just the ones where we ended on good terms. Darling Husband too. We don’t really talk much to exes, but neither of us feel it’s a big deal to delete them just because they’re past tense. As long as they’re not causing problems, so what?
Post # 10
i think it depends on the circumstance of the break up.
i’m friends with some of my relatives exes. it was a mutual break up and they ended on good terms, so i see nothing wrong with it.
some of my relatives are friends with my uncles ex-wife (on facebook and real life). she is not a good person- she put my uncle and their kids thru hell during their divorce (and even thru their marriage) and she had the balls to show up to grandmother’s funeral (knowing that she was not welcome). i feel like she needs to be completely cut off from the family. i wish i could tell everyone to delete her from all aspects of their lives, but yeah, it’s not really my business :/
Post # 11
I’m still FB friends with all of my exes other than one, which was a REALLY bad situation. However, Darling Husband is not friends with his exes. I think the difference is that I have had a FB since I was 16, and so all of these relationships happened during FB, and it felt awkward to unfriend. Darling Husband didn’t get a FB until a couple of years ago, so it would be super awkward to add his exes.
As for family, I would probably stay friends. It doesn’t mean they’re really “friends” so don’t let it bother you. 🙂
Post # 12
Some of FI’s family is friends with his ex-wife on FB and it drives me nuts. So, I blocked ex-wife. Problem solved.
Post # 13
@orchidaloha: I think it depends on the situation, SPECIFICALLY how bad or amicable the breakup was. I have a couple of old (read: high school) boyfriends on Facebook: the kind where a “date” was walking you to a class. Same with my Boyfriend or Best Friend, he has some gals on there like that, too. Neither of us would care if our familes/friends were also friends with them.
…However: my boyfriend has a couple of family members that are still friends with two of his exes on FB where things did NOT end well and, in one case, the girl is a borderline stalker…and they’ve been broken up for YEARS. When his family likes or comments on something of ours, it shows up in that exes news feed and that I dont really like. We wouldnt think of asking his family not to unfriend them (even though we have no idea why they dont), so we just blocked them.
Post # 14
@orchidaloha: In general I make the decision based on the breakup. If the breakup was bad I delete them (or, more often, my friend’s ex deletes me along with all our friends). If it was amicable and I was close to them I might keep them. But eventually I just delete them anyway because I generally keep my FB friends list pretty tight.
Post # 15
I was friends with my ex’s family and his kids for a long while after we broke up, but not him. Once I realized I was going to marry my husband, I deleted them all. We didn’t talk a whole lot and lived in different states — I knew I would never see them again.
I honestly try to apply this to all of my “friends” on FB and keep the list short.
Post # 16
Me personally when I end a relationship I cut off all ties, however I recently went against my norm and accepted a friend request from an ex (I am friends with his sister).
In long term relationships families tend to mix and mingle and when those relationships end it is difficult to tell the other parties that have bonded they can’t communicate any longer. While it may be awkward, especially at first, I think it is a sign of a healthy and adult group of individuals.