- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I would ignore the request.
I would ignore the request.
Echoing the suggestion to ignore the request.. if your standard policy is to cut off all contact, don’t even bother accepting the friend request!
Ignore the request if there’s any chance it will stir up unnecessary drama. There’s no reason you need to be fb friends with him now after 5 years. DO NOT hide your friends list and add him – even if you’re not trying to be shady, that looks so incredibly shady!
Facebook=stupid drama. Ex or no ex, if you aren’t actually friends with the person, why would you feel obligated to add him to avoid rudeness? He’s not your friend=not facebook friend
If youre worried how your boyfriend will react to accepting an ex on facebook, then for me,that would make me stop and re think the idea. is it really worth the bother and the drama that could possibly come about from it?all for someone who means so little to your life right now. So what if you do become friends?whats gonna happen,maybe a chat about the old days,wishing each other well etc,but thats about all. Not exactly something worth getting stressed over.
I wouldnt friend him,it seems pointless.
Thanks so much for the advice. I see and understand where everyone is coming from on this. Ultimately, I decided to go ahead and add him. Here’s why: I felt like if I didn’t it would look like I haven’t moved on from the past, that I am still harboring anger and hurt feelings, that maybe I still have feelings for him, and/or that I am not in a happy and secure place now. Since all of those things are not the case, I decided that I would add him. I told my bf about it after the fact out of courtesy. He got upset, much more upset than I was expecting. He is totally giving me the cold shoulder now, and in addition, today he added one of his ex gf’s as a friend on fb. When he told me that I honestly thought he was bluffing. But I went and looked and there she was! I had to laugh to myself, I was a bit shocked that he would take it that far just to try and get me upset or something. I told him that it does not bother me at all (it truly doesn’t) and that I think it’s a healthy thing as it shows that he has obviously moved past any hurt feelings from that prior relationship.
Basically, this entire thing is just dumb, it does not mean anything to me that I am “friends” with my ex or that he is now “friends” with his. I really just want this to blow over, I am really wanting to move on from this. I am hoping he comes around soon and doesn’t keep this going for too long. We truly do love each other and I would definitely hope that our relationship is much more important than a silly thing like facebook.
Personally, I don’t think it’s even worth a discussion with your boyfriend. You’re your own person and you want to add him. You said you are both in happy relationships and you think of him fondly, so why not add him and ask him if he and his significant other would like to meet you and your boyfriend for dinner one night? I believe that if a person was cool enough to warrant a relationship, they’d probably also make an awesome buddy. 🙂
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