Post # 1
So I am currently going to therepy. I told her I had 409 facebook friends on my facebook and I asked her if I should cut it down due to drama. She says its a good idea. I asked her what was reasonable and she said 200. Well I forgot to tell her I have another one and that one had 209.
So my question becomes with me downsizing to 100 on one facebook and 200 on the other facebook which people and what types of relationships to people should I keep if i need it down to 300, 200 on one, 100 on the other?
Here are my types of relationships I have
Elementry school friends from Michigan where I grew up. I did battle of the books competition with three girls and they made a impact on my life back then even though we dont talk much.
I do have three bestfriends
I also have friends that I did choir with in middle school in oxford michigan again where I grew up
I do have tons of high school friends A my graduating class, freshmen class, friends in other grades from three high schools, well really two high schools since one high school I didnt have a lot of friends in, plus some old neighborhood friends
and I have some friends in my community college and it might incresse if i do masscotting.
suggestions and or opinions
Post # 3
The ones causing the drama, the ones you forgot were even on there, and the ones that give you a pang of bad feeling when you see their name/picture come up.
Post # 4
Get rid off anyone that causes drama. Get rid of anyone that makes you “angry” (argue,e tatie/offensive things related to religion, politics, etc)
keep those people who you and generally interested in knowing about their lives – even if its just a FB post about an engagement, baby, etc. most of my friends list is people like that -friends from high school or college that I want to know how they are, but don’t really consider them friends.
Post # 5
This is bizarre. There’s no magic number of facebook friends that is “right” or “healthy.” Delete the people that:
1. Cause drama
2. Post things that upset you
3. You don’t feel comfortable with them seeing your posts or personal information
4. You don’t care enough about/know well enough to want to see their posts and personal information
It’s as simple as that. If you have 400 facebook friends that treat you well, don’t hurt your feelings, and you care to read about their day to day lives, then keep your facebook friends. I’d also recommend that you consolidate both of your facebook accounts. You only need one, and it’s actually against facebook’s TOS to have more than one.
Post # 6
@cmbr: +1. Delete people that post these things, and after that it doesn’t matter how many friends you have. If after deleting all these people you have 201 friends, I don’t really see the need to scour your friends list to find one more person to delete. Like PP said, there’s no magic number of healthy FB friends.
Also, you have 2 fb accounts? That might be part of your problem right there. Consolidate your accounts, you might find it extremely relieving to only have to keep up with one.
Post # 7
I generally add anyone I know that requests me and then as time goes on I end up deleting them if they post a lot of drama or we’re just not close and I don’t want them knowing my life. Although I have a HUGE family, am very social and now have all of SO’s close friends on there, I only have 218 friends. I actually go through my list at least every 6 months and cut it down if needed.
Post # 8
So heres another question. If my friends dont like it when I text them but will talk to me on facebook, should I take them off my facebook?
Post # 9
@outgoingcutie15: If someone tells you not to text them, they’re not your friend.
Post # 10
I agree with previous posters…there is no right or wrong amount of social networking friends. If someone tries to start drama, remove them. I would also maybe try to edit or watch what you’re posting if you’re noticing you have more drama than you think you should – I’ve noticed a lot of people unintentionally overshare on facebook. If you have over 400 friends, that’s fine. But ask yourself before you post something if it is something that you would tell to over 400 people you know.
Post # 11
@outgoingcutie15: Personally, if I haven’t spoken to someone in real life in the past two years, they aren’t on my Facebook friends list.. because we’re obviously not friends!
Ditch anyone with drama though… no one needs to read that nonsense every day.
Post # 12
@cmbr: +1. I really don’t “get” how people are friends with people on FB who they won’t talk to in the real world.
Post # 13
It’s good that you’re taking your therapist’s suggestions seriously, but I don’t think she literally meant you could only have 200. Why do you have two facebooks anyways?
Post # 14
Honestly, the older I get the less I want to friend “hoard” on FB. At the very least, get rid of or hide the feed of those FB “friends” who make you feel jealous/bad about your own life. Keeping them on FB is toxic.
Post # 15
Anyone causing drama, needs to go, pronto. Or people who I have not spoken to for more than 2 yrs… adios. I am beginning to think, if I don’t have their number stored in my phone then I should delete them. Not sure if I want to take that route yet, thinkin about it.
Post # 16
Basically if they aren’t adding something positive to your Facebook experience and you don’t care how their life is going delete them. Also if you or they wouldn’t take time to talk to you… gone.
Anyone on my Facebook friends list, even if I haven’t spoken to them in person/by phone/text/even Facebook message in over two years stays if I know I could call them up and if they weren’t busy we’d enjoy 15-30 minutes (or more) catching up.
Part of the reason we don’t use those methods is we are on Facebook, so I see they had a baby and liked the post, they saw I got married and commented, I congratulationed them on a big accomplishment, they liked that I posted I had a great birthday due to X reason, etc.
But then I only have just under 100 friends. Less than 10 are family (just not a big family).
Anyone with excessive drama gets deleted, I don’t care if you are my mother. If my mother had as much drama on Facebook as she does in real life she wouldn’t be my friend on Facebook. I limit real life contact because that’s where she expresses/works for drama, Facebook she’s fine… go figure.
Political/religious/etc over the tops (in any direction for any topic!) … gone! Ok, I do have one high school friend who I’ve kept in contact with (used to be IM/email, visiting when in town, etc) and he posts crazy political stuff. But I’ve known him over half my life (and I don’t know what got him crazy political in the last few years!) and he also posts a ton of great techy stuff and I do honestly care about how he and his family are doing. He’s my one exception.