Post # 1
Oh boy, FB will be the death of me, I believe.
I’m very open about a lot of my wedding planning on Facebook. I’ve posted the location, date and a few decor ideas…however, due to budget restraints, and the fact that the price of the ceremony/reception rests on the amount of people attending, I’ve had to make some cuts to the guest list. The Fiance has a rather large family causing me to make some slight “alterations” to MY guest list. Unforunately, there are a few people that I’ve mentioned being invited to that haven’t made the cut :[
Not to mention, there are a few girls from school that have overheard me talking about the wedding, that are on my facebook, but not invited…
So far, there haven’t been any issues, but I’m worried that there will be a lot of sore toes after it’s all over.
Has anyone else had/is having this issue? How did/are you dealing with it?
Talks amongsta yaselves! 😛
Post # 3
1) never ever tell or imply to anyone that they’re invited if you’re not 100% sure they are. You really can’t go back on that unless you want to lose that person from your life. If you told them they were invited they should be invited.
2) keep planning off facebook! same rules apply online as apply in real life… don’t talk about your wedding in front of people who are not invited. Which means no status updates, photos, etc etc etc. If you want to share something with specific people then message them.
Post # 4
Ick, Facebook complicates things like this.
Post # 5
A lot of people I talk to my wedding about won’t be invited. I don’t see anything wrong with it but I never indicated to them that they’d be invited, actually quite the opposite. I think its fine sharing info just don’t go telling people they are invited when they won’t recieve the invite.
Post # 6
I agree with june42011, I talk to my coworkers about the planning sometimes, and they arent’ invited, nor do they assume they will be. It does suck when people are commenting on your status update or something saying “can’t wait to get my invitation!” when they’re not invited… it’s like, um, the wedding is in 2 weeks… don’t you think you would have gotten it by now?!
Post # 7
If you’ve already mentioned to people that they’re invited and then don’t invite them, they’ll have a legitimate gripe against you. I’d try to keep on the guest list all those you told were invited, if I were you, and then just try to hold back on telling any others that they’re invited until you’ve actually sent out the invitations!
As for FB, I’d do my best to keep the wedding posts in check, but there’s no reason you have to be totally closed-mouthed about it…I think people understand that weddings are expensive and guest lists aren’t always what the bride and groom want them to be.
Post # 8
i agree with CorgiTales on both accounts. don’t promise invites that you can’t follow through on. guest list cuts suck and unless you’ve planned a wedding yourself, it’s hard to understand, but it’s a whole lot harder if you were already told you’d be invited. unless you want to loose those people as friends, you should probably have an honest conversation with them and not let them find out they’re off the guest list when they don’t get an invitation in the mail and hear (probably on facebook) about others getting one.
Post # 9
I never put anything on facebook about planning, location, time of day, who was invited or anything like that because I knew it could cause issues. The only thing I would ever put would be something like “55 days til I have a husband!” or a few days before the wedding I put “getting married in 3 days!!” or something like that. I purposely didnt put anything about where it was or our website or anything like that and Im glad I didnt!
Post # 10
Ditto CorgiTails…facebook is not fun when it comes to wedding planning.
Post # 11
I pretty much stopped talking about anything wedding related on Facebook. There are people on mine that aren’t invited & I don’t want them to feel bad or say, “I haven’t received my invite yet…”. It just find it better not to put myself in that situation @ all & keep it off FB.
Post # 12
I rarely put anything up on facebook, but I did have a coworker who never talks to me and assumed because she’s friends with the Maid/Matron of Honor that she was invited. She even asked for the day off and everything. Then she started asking others around work if they got an invite and was peeved that she didn’t get one. I’ve already made it very clear that we have a smaller budget and I couldn’t/should have to invite everyone from work.
Anyways, I would probably stick to not really being too indepth about your wedding plans. You could have some bitter people showing up to your wedding just in spite.
Post # 13
@clarebee: I’m with you. I posted that I got engaged. I’ll probably post when I get married/honeymoon. Other than that I keep my wedding planning off the interwebs (except for ya know… weddingbee! heh)
Post # 14
I’m with Clarebee and never put any wedding specifics on FB. Only vague references to getting married, honeymoon excitement, etc. The friends and family you talk to will know all the details anyways, and people who are only “Facebook friends” don’t need to know that stuff. Maybe you should tone it down a bit.
Post # 15
I talked about wedding planning on facebook but I don’t think it was too often. Yes, I complained about wedding planning, like whether to have assigned seating and I got some really good feedback from some people who I didn’t invite. Which is why I liked using facebook because I got some really great advice.
I did tell people that I was working on my invitations but never told people when they were sent. That way people weren’t expecting them.
I didn’t have any problems on facebook. I think a lot of my friends on facebook knew if they were going to be invited or not. I didn’t invite my college roommates initially but about 2 weeks before the wedding, I had room, so I invited them. One of my roommates said that she was hoping to get invited. But she wasn’t pissed about it. She was so happy that I ended up inviting her.
Also, a lot of my friends on facebook were recently engaged so there were a lot of wedding planning going around. Even though, I asked for their advice and I gave them some advice, I NEVER assumed I was going to get an invite from them. I think all of my engaged friends know how expensive weddings are and that I can’t invite everyone.
I didn’t update my status with “Yay, my parents are letting me invite 500 people to my wedding” That’s just asking for trouble. Even if my guest list was that big and if my parents were paying, I wouldn’t post something like that. A lot of my friends on facebook knew I was pissed about the cost of a wedding so hopefully they got the hint that I’m not made out of money.
Also, some of the personal stuff related to details, I asked weddingbee! 🙂
Post # 16
My personal motto on FB is this: If you don’t want people to talk about it with you, don’t put it up on FB.
With wedding planning, most reasonable people understand that posting your frustrations over invitations on your wall is not tantamount to inviting all your FB friends to your wedding. And most people will not expect that you do. But if you’re the type of person who feels bad about those who might be expecting to be invited and/or has difficulty telling people ‘no’ or being a source of their disappointment, then you might want to put the kabosh on planning info on FB, per my motto.