(Closed) Facebook, guest list & people scorned…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

It’s important to use a huge amount of discretion when discussing wedding plans with anyone who you aren’t 100% certain will be invited, and that applies tenfold to public forums like Facebook. I posted about my wedding only in very general terms, like saying I had ordered my dress or that we enjoyed our cake tasting – or I would note “one month to go” without stating the venue or time. In conversations with coworkers, I would discuss the details, but only after it was completely clear that no one from the office was invited (like, I talked about having sent out invitations already, and they obviously hadn’t received any).

If you’ve verbally invited someone to your wedding, you really can’t take them off the list. It’s the same as un-inviting them, which is pretty much unthinkable in anything but extreme circumstances.

Post # 18
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I 100% agree with CorgiTales.  If you want to avoid the drama, keep that info off of facebook!

Post # 19
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree. I didn’t post the date or anything except a pic of my ring and shoes. Now that the wedding is over I’ll probably post some pics from it.

Facebook is the worst. People always put stuff like “You got married?! I didn’t know you were engaged. Wish I could have been there!” Chances are if you didn’t know I was engaged then there was no way you’d be invited to the wedding.

Post # 20
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee

OR, if you really want to post it to Facebook, keep the post viewable to select people only. There is a way to customize your posts so that not everyone on your friend’s list will see them.

I use Facebook to communicate with my BM’s because I know they are on it regularly. I post pictures, provide them with status updates, etc. but I make sure they are the only two that see it. The smaller your audience, the fewer your problems will be. =)

Post # 21
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Yes! And any social media site in general! I put up something about my fiance and I being engaged for 5 months on my Twitter page (we’re not getting married until 2012) and a really, really casual acquaintance (we’ve met once!) asked when my wedding was. I told her a general date (Summer 2012) and she wrote back saying that she hoped she got an invitation! I was like “Are you serious?!” (to myself of course).

Also, when I first got engaged a high school friend (we haven’t really talked since then and that was 2004) posted something like “I better get an invite!” on my Facebook wall. I’m definitely not putting any more info online, unless it’s really, really vague or I only let certain people see it.

I’ve learned my lesson! lol

Post # 22
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I stopped posting wedding things – even in general terms – to FB after seeing an (ex-)friend’s status say, “NO ONE cares what kind of paper you chose for your invitations!” after I had posted something about finding the perfect paper for my DIY Save-The-Date Cards. Of course, her single groupies all chimed in that she was right on, and engaged/married people should be spending ALL their time talking to/spending time with their SO in person (and they wonder why they’re single?!) instead of posting about their wedding/relationship on FB. She also later said that she was talking about her cousin’s wedding… but how coincidental the topic of the post, and that all posts about her “cousin’s wedding” stopped after I stopped posting about my wedding.

And if someone else posts to my wall about something wedding related, I’ll comment that I’ll answer them privately, or I’ll just delete the post and send them a PM.

If I want to talk wedding, I come here. 🙂

Post # 23
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Just a word of caution – also don’t post too many specifics because people troll sites like that looking for people to rob.  Posting specific details about your wedding let’s people know 1) exactly when you won’t be home and 2) you just got a lot of great wedding gifts they can steal.   

So etiquette yes, but also for safety. 

 

Post # 24
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This is why you don’t post things about the wedding on facebook…

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