Post # 1
I waited a full month after engagement in order to personally let people know I was engaged. (My sister was hurt when she found out that our cousin, to whom we’re fairly close, was engaged via Facebook and I didn’t want to repeat that situation.) On the bee, there are oodles of stories about how Facebook only increased drama and hurt feelings. Well…Facebook has hit a new low in my opinion, when family learned about the death of their 17 year old son at college via Facebook before officials knocked on the door:
The family seems to be taking it ok (I mean, as best as one can considering the situation) – and has turned to Facebook to help investigate. Hopefully some good will come from it.
Post # 3
Oh wow. I’m from around there-ish and heard about this girl’s death on the local news, but I hadn’t heard how her parents found out! What an absolutely awful way to hear it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge
@kay01: How awful for the family. However, its not Facebooks fault that someone leaked the information before the police could. What I’m assuming happened that is not said in the article is that the roommate (or whoever found her) said something to a friend, who then said something to another friend who then posted it on Facebook. Honest mistake I’m sure by someone who was distraught but still a sad thing.
Again I’m just speculating that is how the Facebook notification happened and not sure at all.
Post # 5
That is insane but I’m sure it was something like the PP said, something like that doesn’t stay quiet on a college campus!
Post # 6
Yeah, very sad but from what I understand it’s not facebooks fault. People from the school started writing on her wall and the parents saw it. Facebook doesnt really have any business deleting or keeping track of comments.
Post # 7
This is the fault of Facebook users, not Facebook itself. That’s like blaming the telephone if a friend phoned them before the police could tell them.
Post # 8
@kay01: I’ve heard about this already and it’s terribly sad and tragic. However, I don’t see how facebook is at all at fault here. it’s the fault of idiotic facebook users who don’t think of things like the family might not know yet before posting.
THANKFULLY facebook is not yet invasvive enough to instantly know if a user has expired or not. Though I do believe they take profiles down upon being notified of a death. However, I know some groups have petitioned against this as some like to keep pages up as a memorial to the person. Not sure what decision they’ve made about that.
Post # 9
I actually learned that my guardian (who I am very close with) had passed from a facebook post on my wall by a friend of the family before I found out from my other guardian. It was an awful way to find out. Some people don’t know how to use discretion on facebook.
My guardian had called but I was sleeping and didn’t get the call. Of course when I woke up I hopped on facebook first thing, so that’s how that happened.
Post # 10
We found out that my DHs ex and mother of his children had passed away via FB. No one in the family bothered calling and it took us hours to get confirmation and find out where the kids were. If it were not for that post, who knows what would have happened with the kids.
Post # 11
thats the cost of being too connected to the world
Post # 12
@beemo: Very true.
Facebook isn’t to blame, its people lacking sensativity and not thinking ahead, that hey “maybe xyz’s parents don’t know yet, let me hold off on posting about this.”.
Post # 13
I don’t see what the issue is here. If my child was injured or hurt I would want to know as soon as possible, whether that news came from facebook or a phone call or a knock on my door.
Either way, this is terrible news and no matter how you hear it, its still going to hurt badly.
In some ways FB is the best way to share news like this as it reaches many people at the same time and people can immediately share kind words or ty to help.
Post # 16
Folks, you misunderstand my post. I did not mean this post to say Facebook is evil. I meant it that it’s unfortunate how people use it and post on it without thinking. That’s why I gave the intro personal story about how information revealed early can be hurtful. Apparently I should have titled it differently, but I wanted something short and that’s what initially came to mind. And yes, it can happen with other technology – in college my freshman year, I found out my grandmother died during finals because my mom sent me an email entitled “Grandma died” rather than calling – but, I think it happens more frequently with Facebook that people post first, think second.
ETA: To whichever mod moved the post to tech…I put it originally in lounge because well, it’s not a *wedding related* tech topic at all, and might bother some who open it thinking that and see a death mentioned. I would suggest that we have a few more non-wedding related topics added so topics without a clear home can be appropriately filed away if you don’t like us using the lounge for a catch-all.