(Closed) facebook is the devil……. (long vent..sorry!)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Why is he friends with these girls? Was he close to this sister when he was dating her sister? I am confused why he feels the need to still talk to her, especially when she so obviously wants to get him and her sister back together.  And I would be soooo pissed about airing your dirty laundry to her.  You and him need to have a serious talk about boundaries

Post # 5
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

first, I would talk to your Fiance about discussing personal issues with others. Then, I would let them know I know that they aren’t being very subtle at all and you don’t appreciate it. This happened to me with a previous boyfriend, and a friend posted “sounds like she’s a lemon – time for a new car!” on his page, like he was really just talking about car – but it was so obvious they were referring to me. So I posted back to let them know I knew what they were talking about.

Then, if you know his password, I would go on and block all those ladies. I guarantee your Fiance won’t know what happened or to check his “blocked” list. He’ll just think the other girls blocked him or maybe he won’t noticed that he hasn’t heard from them in awhile and just eventually forget 🙂

Post # 6
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@stardustintheeyes:

 

I am so sorry you’re going through this!  I agree, facebook is the devil.  We had some drama during the first year of our planning which didn’t necessarily have to do with facebook but facebook didn’t help our situation either.  We ended up splitting up for 7 months.  We are finally back on track and set a new date to get married (we origninally planned for this year).  One of my requirements for us to get this relationship back on track was to step away from facebook for a minute to focus on just us two.  Fiance deleted his account and mine is now deactivated.  When we have a stronger sense of security in our relationship and preferably after we say I do, we MIGHT re-activate it.  Hope you guys can talk it out:)

Post # 7
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@bunnyfoofoo: Deception/meddling like that leads to nowhere good. I would never touch my husband’s fb or email without his knowledge or permission. Open, adult conversation is what I’d advise, not blocking people and hoping it will go away.

Post # 8
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

While I agree, it does sound like he may be sharing info with her – he may not be too….

I think waiting to have a face to face conversation with him is a good idea & like another poster said, you need to clearly lay out your boundries about what is off limits to discuss with others.

Post # 9
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with PP but he could just deny the post has anything to do with you two, even if it is.

I just don’t see the need for him to be friends with this girl. Especially if she isn’t Team Startdustintheeyes

ETA: do you have his password and stuff? or are you just looking on his wall?

Post # 10
Member
1553 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@bunnyfoofoo:  OMG you are evil…I love that!  I would NEVER do anything like that…but I do like the thought.

I read it all.  And I think it’s a good thing you get it all out before you talk to him.  Sometimes we see something and get all wound up by it and it’s never a good idea to bring up something when we are hurt and emotional.

Having said that, that was really an insulting comment.  Unless this girl is someone he is super close too and he knows she is just teasing, I wouldn’t think your Fiance is going to be pleased that ANYONE publically told him he needs to grow a pair.  So I’m guessing he’s going to be a bit sensitive about the comment anyway.

But once you can be calm about it, certainly ask him about it.  As others have said, he shouldn’t be discussing your issues with other people, and certainly not with sisters of ex-girlfriends.  That’s insanity.  

I see two issues here:  1.  Discussing relationship issues with third parties is a problem.  2.  Remaining friendly with a person who tries to undermine his relationship with his Fiance.  

Maybe there is an innocent explanation for her comment and it has nothing to do with your relationship.  I really hope so.

Post # 13
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I hope that conversation goes better than I am thinking it will :/ The hubs and I have a strict no negativity rule for facebook, at least about our relationship.  His cousin bashes her husband all the time on there, and then people remark about how douchey he is (and he truly is, he’s young, fat immature, lazy, and not a good dad). Then, the next day she’ll talk about how great their relationship is. WTF? I have no respect for him because of this, and I’m sure most of their family and friends don’t either.  I agree, that if boundaries aren’t set, then FB can be the devil!

 

Post # 15
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

You really just need to have a chat with him.  Calmly ask what that comment might be about.  I wouldn’t start out accusing though just in case it is unrelated and also he’ll respond better.  Plus, if you are like me with an overactive imagination and assuming tendency you find that it’s wrong more often than you’d like. 🙂 

Post # 16
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

@stardustintheeyes:

That changes a lot then.

You’re gonna have to wait and hear him out then.

But I agree with you FB is the devil. I friggen hate it.  But I must admit, since my man is away with the Army a lot, it is nice to get silly I love you posts and stuff.  Immature as those are.

The topic ‘facebook is the devil……. (long vent..sorry!)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors