- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
So… I’ve thought about changing my name to his but the idea of giving up my family name, which is very unusual and has also, you know, been mine for thirty years, leaves me feeling weird and sad. And I have professional licenses in multiple states, 12 years of adulthood worth of financial and legal paperwork, and degrees and work history in my name. It’s just… it’s my name. I don’t want to get rid of it.
And I love my middle name, which is a family name and I have no interest in dropping it to accomodate my maiden name instead. And it would be absurdly long and bulky with my original middle AND maiden names in there. And our names don’t hyphenate together well at all.
But… I still like the idea of being known as The Somethings. And he’s military, which means most of the people he works with/we socialize with are pretty conservative and also know him by his last name, and I’ve already been mistaken for Mrs. Hisname in plenty of situations and it’s only going to happen more often once we’re married. And it would probably make his family happy. And it would certainly be simpler if we had children.
He doesn’t care either way.
So… I think I’m going to change my name on Facebook from its current Bubbles McGee format to Bubbles McGee Hislastname, but not change anything else legally. Go by Mrs. Hislastname socially where it matters, but still sign things, apply for jobs, carry a passport, etc, in my own name.
One of my friends who was in a similar situation and married last year did this and says it has worked out fine so far, and I’ve seen my mother, who is legally Dr. Maidenname but responds graciously to Mrs. Marriedname when addressed as such as well, do this successfully for my entire life, but… am I missing anything? Is there a reason this might not work out as a compromise? Is there some blind spot I’m missing that’s going lead to regret over not just picking one or the other?