- 4 years ago
Okay I was hesitant to post this because usually I just ignore Facebook drama by unfollowing people – still keep them as friends, but just don’t see their updates. Well, it gets very hard to ignore people when they decide that they want to tag you in every post and every picture. I have myself on “approve tags” so at least no one else on my Facebook page is getting swarmed by these things, but I am very close to just unfriending this person. However, she is the granddaughter of one of my very good friends (he’s been in my life since I was about 12, and is one of my dad’s best friends, and the three of us have gone on a lot of trips together. Our relationship is very much that of a grandfather and granddaughter) and I know if I unfriended her she would demand that her grandfather unfriend me. He wouldn’t, but it would really put him in an awkward position, and I don’t want to do that… so instead I am just going to finally vent about it here. I might sound petty at some points, but I am at my wits end with this girl.
This might get a little long, but I’ll try to keep it short. (I failed) So, about last April I get a message from this girl, let’s call her “A”, asking me if I had any tips for her and her wedding planning. I told her sure, and started forwarding her a lot of my information (budget planner, to-do-list, website suggestions, vendor suggestions), and asked when she had gotten engaged. She didn’t reply for about a week, and during that week she changed her last name to her SO’s last name, so I messaged her “Congrats!” assuming she’d just eloped and gotten married. She messaged back “What?” and I said “Did you get married?” and she said “No we’re not technically engaged yet.” Oh… okay. I’ve been around the Bee enough to know that people start planning before the ring, but I must admit, this is the first time I’ve seen someone change their name on Facebook to their SO’s before they got married. But it was very confusing because she always posted things about love (you know, those picture things with sayings on them) and used #fiance or #ilovemyfiance or #anythingtodowithfiance, but I still hadn’t heard her talk about her engagement, so I just kind of kept my mouth shut. Well, about 3-4 weeks after we last talked she started posting things that were really negative about love, about how she didn’t need a man, and how much her children were all that mattered (she has 2 beautiful daughters from 2 previous relationships). I assume she and her SO broke up, and then she just fell quiet.
Well, jump to December and she’s again posting the “love” pictures, and messages me again about wedding stuff. Turns out, she’s back in a relationship with this guy, and she’s bashing people who dare question her. She changed her last name back to his, started calling him her fiance, and was talking about how awesome and amazing everything was and how much she loved him. Okay, none of my business, in fact, I was happy for her, even though I wasn’t sure if she was engaged or just dating. It was nice seeing that she was happy. However, when I replied to her message I just resent all the information I already sent her, and she said “I already have that, its not going to work for me. I don’t want that stuff, I want like pictures and stuff, not the boring stuff.” So I forwarded her links to my favorite wedding boards on Pinterest, and she said “nah, thats not my style. Look for more roses and red stuff.” Uhm, what? I didn’t volunteer to be your wedding planner. So I replied saying that she could do a search on Pinterest for what she liked. She replied “If you don’t actually care and don’t actually want to help then just say so!” I’m sorry, but what? She asked for tips on planning a wedding, not if I wanted to help plan, so I just kind of left the message at that.
A week or so later (around Christmas) she starts posting statuses and home-made picture quote things about how “True love doesn’t take 6 years” and “When a man actually loves you he doesn’t need to wait 6 years to marry you” and just a lot about how 6 years blah blah blah and how people who are really in love get married right away. Surprise surprise ladies, when I got married I had been with DH for 6 years, and eventually she started tagging me in them when I didn’t reply (because at this point I just unfollowed her).
So last week a mutual friend commented on one of her status updates (so I saw the so and so commended on A’s status)… apparently she and her SO broke up again, and it ended with her refusing to leave his house, having the cops called to remove her from his property (they didn’t live together), and her just being really nasty about everything. I mean her status read: “Well me and B are done. He and his fat a** b**** of a mother called the f*cking cops on me like a bunch of f*cking b*tches just because I didn’t want to leave until I got an answer for why he was breaking up with me. I had every right to get an answer and I still do. I seriously hope all of you people who are in a happy relationship break up or get a divorce so you f*cking know how I feel and stop judging me. You’ll be sorry!” Ugh… I was just glad that I had backed out when I did and I hadn’t talked to her in over a month, and seriously the only communication we’ve had in 3-4 years is in April and just recently in December.
Guess I wasn’t going to get by that easily though… she started making posts about how she was actually in love with B and that “statistic show” married people aren’t actually in love with the person they married because they haven’t lost them and how you have to break up for at LEAST 6 month to know that you truly love someone or not and that once you’ve been together for 5+ years you don’t actually know what love is anymore. Plus she was tagging pretty much anyone who was in a happy relationship. But the final straw and the one that made me post this is the message I got from her this morning. It wasn’t directly to me but a big chain one, and it said things like how we married or engaged women need to stop bragging about how great our relationships are and how she is sick and tired of seeing us talk about our husbands or fiances and just trying to rub it in her face, and how we are stupid for even thinking that we are in good relationships and how our husbands/fiances are just pieces of sh*t and that we’re idiotic women for buying into their BS. She specifically called me out on a post I made on my 1 year anniversary. I usually DON’T post things on Facebook, and I’ve not really posted anything about my “husband” expect around the wedding time and when I got engaged. But on our anniversary DH surprised me and took me out to eat at a VERY expensive restaurant that usually is booked 6 months in advance (and costs money to HOLD a reservation – it is refunded once you actually show or if you cancel within the certain timeframe) and I posted “So surprised! My wonderful husband is treating me to the most amazing dinner for our 1 year anniversary! Happy Anniversary Hubsy!” Okay, so yeah, it might have been over the top, but I had a lot of wine and was very excited.
Anyway, she ended the message wishing failed relationships on all of us, and I just needed to vent. Sorry, I know venting about FB is ridiculous, but I guess it is more so a vent about her insulting my husband, my relationship and wishing divorce on me than anything really. I am really tempted to just block her completely but I just don’t want to add that strain to my good friend/her grandfather. I know he’s already very embarrassed (he shares his concerns with my dad) and I know that if he knew all the hateful things she’s said to me, it would make him feel awkward and stress him out. I can handle her. I just ignore her, but I just needed to vent to you ladies.
Now! Time to start grilling for the supper-bowl (yeah, play on words). I am doing mini bacon wrapped jalapeno and steak bites, hot wings, and corn on the cob (not sure what everyone else is bringing over – its a family tradiation to just make more food than anyone can eat and watch the commercials – none of us are really football fans, but its super fun to get together!)