(Closed) Facepalm, so when BF called me fiance, I guess he meant it! :P

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@hwatermelon:  From a professional point of view, I totally understand him introducing you as his fiance if that is soon-to-be your status because it stinks trying to correct people later on. Nonetheless, I would fight for the formal proposal but that’s just me.

CONGRATS!

Post # 4
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@hwatermelon:  I never got called “fiance” prematurely, but before we were even engaged I was referred to as his wife by his friends and he would say it occasionally in public.

Good luck in waiting for a proposal and a ring.

Post # 5
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think there have been a few former waiting bees who have had this happen to them! I think you should tell him he has to give you the actual proposal and a ring to make it official! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My Fiance was calling me his fiance before the ring – and gave me permission to start planning a June wedding, since I told him I needed 12 mo lead time.

Post # 7
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@nyscpa2be:  I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one who has things “out of order!”  I’ve got a dress, a date, and tons of Pins (Pinterest), bookmarks and half-formed ideas… but no official proposal. Sometimes I think I’m nuts, but then I remember that he’s the one pushing me (not the other way around), and just yesterday he told me to “think diamond thoughts” when I was feeling down. 

Now if only I’d told my SO I needed 12 months…  We’re low-key and it’s gonna be small with 99% of the people local.  So, about two months ago I told him I could do it within three months after a formal proposal (which is expected within the month).  *gulp*  In the meantime, I’m trying to plan as much as I can without anyone outside our immediate families knowing.  Recipe for insanity, haha!  I regularly daydream about JOP weddings, now (only half-joking). 

Post # 8
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

So he never actually proposed? I’m totally ok with proposing without a ring but to just assume that you are his fiance without ever asking you to marry him is a bit out of the ordinary. 

I’d want to be asked. 

Post # 9
Member
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@hwatermelon:  I have to admit this is kind of cute:) Are you going to go look at rings together?

Fiance basically skipped actually calling me his Fiance and moved onto “wife” right after we got engaged lol. Some people who don’t know us as well end up surprised when they find out we aren’t actually married yet!

Post # 10
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Fiance sort of did the same thing.  He’d “proposed” a couple of times (almost in a joking manner) before his “official” proposal.  Everytime he said something about “We’re getting married,” I would say, “Honey, yes, I want to marry you, but to me it’s not official without a ring.”  We went ring shopping together a few times so he would know the kind of ring I wanted.  A couple of weeks later he surprised me with the ring, got down on one knee, popped the question, and I screamed, lol . . . as soon as he put the ring on my finger I said, “Now, we are officially engaged.”

Post # 11
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I was pretty surprised with my bf’s status jump but it wasn’t nearly as exciting as yours! Congrats btw!!!!!!! 😀 I would be totally beaming if I were you.

 

My SO says in response to my co workers calling him my “husband” his reply is “well we pretty much are married” I looked at him with a sour look and said “Not until you make it official” he laughed and said “well we pretty much are” I don’t think so. I don’t skip steps

Post # 12
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

congrats!  my situation was a lil diff.. i knew the proposal was coming because i helped pick out the ring.but he started TELLING people we were engaged months before he gave me the ring.. i was Always sure to correct them that as long as the ring was in the box it wasnt official yet.. he said he always felt it was official since the ring was bought…..men! HA

Post # 13
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Guys always want to take the fun out of everything.  Introducing each other as your “fiance/e” after you get engaged (and then husband/wife.. I’m sure!) is half the fun! 

MrJ popped the question on a Thursday night – totally out of the blue.  We had Friday off to go to a race weekend with some coworkers of mine.  When we met up with them Friday afternoon I had hardly told all my family so I didn’t want to make a huge announcement, but we were SO EXCITED.  We just walked in the tent all smiles and I was super cool like “Morning Mike, this is my fiance MrJ…”

Post # 14
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Hmmm, here’s a thought . . . I wonder if the guys do that just to feel us out and make sure we’re on the same page as them about getting married, so as to avoid rejection, lol . . . I wonder . . .

Can you imagine anything worse than being turned down for a proposal?  I’ve seen some of those clips of guys who proposed in public and either the woman said, “NO!” or just walked away.  OMG, red face!  That has to be a man’s worst nightmare.

Post # 15
Member
674 posts
Busy bee

@hwatermelon:  I’m kind of in the same boat as you. I don’t have a ring on the finger, but he calls me his fiancee to pretty much everyone. The only time it’s not that is when he introduced me to his former boss as his wife. That kind of caught me off guard a bit.

By now, half the people assume we’re married since we live together and the other half know we’re planning to be married. Our big hold up was because he worked for a startup that closed, now makes less money, but our house decided that it needed about $20,000 worth of repairs and renovations this year. I guess it’s a good thing that when I finally had enough liquid courage a month or so ago, I mentioned that the ring I had in mind was actually pretty cheap for fine jewelry standards.

Right now, I kind of stare at the business card of the jeweler I liked that’s sitting on his project bench. I figure when that disappears, we’re in a better financial position to start making more formal plans.

Post # 16
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Awe 🙂 !!!! My SO is totally telling everyone I’m his Fiance too! The ring is in the works but I’m still waiting for that proposal and rock before I tell people we’re engaged. I’m so excited I keep telling everyone we’re “getting engaged” which is a true statement. Congrats girlie.

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