Post # 1
We’re not what you’d call ‘formally’ engaged, but my SO has been calling me a fiance to every single person we meet, wether it be a business or personal connection for months now. We’ve talked about getting married when we can afford the time and money, but to us that means YEARS since SO is very business orientated and just doesn’t take time off between projects (he works in startups).
Anyway, while talking about hiring a new employee who happens to be engaged, I mentioned i wished he hadn’t referred to me as a ‘fiance’ to the job candidate when he was interviewing her, because I don’t have a ring and i feel silly being called a fiance without a ring and without definite concrete plans to start planning a wedding.
SO looks at me surprised and says ‘but..i..uh…oh….we should’ve gotten you a ring then, eh?……’. He thought I was already his fiance.
Whaaaaat? I’m so confused now, and i don’t want to get too excited, but I TOTALLY AM!
hwatermelon, officially on the waiting (for a ring) list!!!
Here’s a question – Anyone else been surprised by the ‘fiance’ status bump without an actual proposal? And how long until you felt it was all for real?
Post # 3
@hwatermelon: From a professional point of view, I totally understand him introducing you as his fiance if that is soon-to-be your status because it stinks trying to correct people later on. Nonetheless, I would fight for the formal proposal but that’s just me.
Post # 4
@hwatermelon: I never got called “fiance” prematurely, but before we were even engaged I was referred to as his wife by his friends and he would say it occasionally in public.
Good luck in waiting for a proposal and a ring.
Post # 5
I think there have been a few former waiting bees who have had this happen to them! I think you should tell him he has to give you the actual proposal and a ring to make it official! 🙂
Post # 6
My Fiance was calling me his fiance before the ring – and gave me permission to start planning a June wedding, since I told him I needed 12 mo lead time.
Post # 7
@nyscpa2be: I’m so glad to know I’m not the only one who has things “out of order!” I’ve got a dress, a date, and tons of Pins (Pinterest), bookmarks and half-formed ideas… but no official proposal. Sometimes I think I’m nuts, but then I remember that he’s the one pushing me (not the other way around), and just yesterday he told me to “think diamond thoughts” when I was feeling down.
Now if only I’d told my SO I needed 12 months… We’re low-key and it’s gonna be small with 99% of the people local. So, about two months ago I told him I could do it within three months after a formal proposal (which is expected within the month). *gulp* In the meantime, I’m trying to plan as much as I can without anyone outside our immediate families knowing. Recipe for insanity, haha! I regularly daydream about JOP weddings, now (only half-joking).
Post # 8
So he never actually proposed? I’m totally ok with proposing without a ring but to just assume that you are his fiance without ever asking you to marry him is a bit out of the ordinary.
I’d want to be asked.
Post # 9
@hwatermelon: I have to admit this is kind of cute:) Are you going to go look at rings together?
Fiance basically skipped actually calling me his Fiance and moved onto “wife” right after we got engaged lol. Some people who don’t know us as well end up surprised when they find out we aren’t actually married yet!
Post # 10
My Fiance sort of did the same thing. He’d “proposed” a couple of times (almost in a joking manner) before his “official” proposal. Everytime he said something about “We’re getting married,” I would say, “Honey, yes, I want to marry you, but to me it’s not official without a ring.” We went ring shopping together a few times so he would know the kind of ring I wanted. A couple of weeks later he surprised me with the ring, got down on one knee, popped the question, and I screamed, lol . . . as soon as he put the ring on my finger I said, “Now, we are officially engaged.”
Post # 11
I was pretty surprised with my bf’s status jump but it wasn’t nearly as exciting as yours! Congrats btw!!!!!!! 😀 I would be totally beaming if I were you.
My SO says in response to my co workers calling him my “husband” his reply is “well we pretty much are married” I looked at him with a sour look and said “Not until you make it official” he laughed and said “well we pretty much are” I don’t think so. I don’t skip steps
Post # 12
congrats! my situation was a lil diff.. i knew the proposal was coming because i helped pick out the ring.but he started TELLING people we were engaged months before he gave me the ring.. i was Always sure to correct them that as long as the ring was in the box it wasnt official yet.. he said he always felt it was official since the ring was bought…..men! HA
Post # 13
Guys always want to take the fun out of everything. Introducing each other as your “fiance/e” after you get engaged (and then husband/wife.. I’m sure!) is half the fun!
MrJ popped the question on a Thursday night – totally out of the blue. We had Friday off to go to a race weekend with some coworkers of mine. When we met up with them Friday afternoon I had hardly told all my family so I didn’t want to make a huge announcement, but we were SO EXCITED. We just walked in the tent all smiles and I was super cool like “Morning Mike, this is my fiance MrJ…”
Post # 14
Hmmm, here’s a thought . . . I wonder if the guys do that just to feel us out and make sure we’re on the same page as them about getting married, so as to avoid rejection, lol . . . I wonder . . .
Can you imagine anything worse than being turned down for a proposal? I’ve seen some of those clips of guys who proposed in public and either the woman said, “NO!” or just walked away. OMG, red face! That has to be a man’s worst nightmare.
Post # 15
@hwatermelon: I’m kind of in the same boat as you. I don’t have a ring on the finger, but he calls me his fiancee to pretty much everyone. The only time it’s not that is when he introduced me to his former boss as his wife. That kind of caught me off guard a bit.
By now, half the people assume we’re married since we live together and the other half know we’re planning to be married. Our big hold up was because he worked for a startup that closed, now makes less money, but our house decided that it needed about $20,000 worth of repairs and renovations this year. I guess it’s a good thing that when I finally had enough liquid courage a month or so ago, I mentioned that the ring I had in mind was actually pretty cheap for fine jewelry standards.
Right now, I kind of stare at the business card of the jeweler I liked that’s sitting on his project bench. I figure when that disappears, we’re in a better financial position to start making more formal plans.
Post # 16
Awe 🙂 !!!! My SO is totally telling everyone I’m his Fiance too! The ring is in the works but I’m still waiting for that proposal and rock before I tell people we’re engaged. I’m so excited I keep telling everyone we’re “getting engaged” which is a true statement. Congrats girlie.