Facing divorce- Please help

posted 3 months ago in Emotional
Post # 286
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

Soooo…. what are you gonna do??

Post # 287
Member
210 posts
Helper bee

beepboopbop :  Get divorced hopefully and end whatever little is left of this marriage.

Post # 288
Member
6771 posts
Busy Beekeeper

So…you can’t handle him having a girlfriend and he’s adamant that he’s not giving up his girlfriend. You told him your requirements and he told you he won’t meet them. Basically he wants you to be the one to file for divorce. So do it. Meet with a lawyer and begin the process.

You made a mistake, it’s time to move on from it and repair your life. And that should include individual counseling, Bee. It will help you to get through this process and on to the rest of your life. 

Post # 289
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

anon97 :  lol. But you had that kind of relationship for 3 months. Only you had a boyfriend. 

Post # 291
Member
4570 posts
Honey bee

Well, we’re now full circle and the advice I gave on page two is basically the same thing that holds true now, only you spent three weeks talking yourself in circles and lying to yourself that this had a shot in hell.  You now officially have your answer.  His word to her is more important to him than his vows to you.

So do what you should have done three weeks ago.  Go call a lawyer in the morning, set yourself up for some individual counseling to figure out how you got to this place to begin with (because no matter how much you protest that you only “need” it if your husband were to come back and you were just “bored”, I assure you the average reasonable person’s response to “boredom” isn’t to become a lying deceitful adulterer with their husband’s friend/friend’s husband), and get your ducks in a row for your impending divorce.

Post # 292
Member
12216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

anon97 :  That’s it then. It’s good he finally gave you the concrete closure to this thing you seemed to need. One other thing is obvious. This girlfriend was never, ever OK with being his side piece.

Post # 293
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee

It was only a matter of time. That must have been why your husband wanted to move out as quickly as he eventually did. His girlfriend wanted to be his official girlfriend.

Post # 294
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee

I have been following this thread but did not comment because I don’t have any advice. I only want to say that it was obvious from the first few pages where your husband’s loyalties lie, and they are not with you. Regardless of how the relationship began, he wants to take it to the next level and his girlfriend will not wait for him forever. I hope this gives you closure.

Post # 295
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

Well that puts an end to this farce. Please see a lawyer and prepare for the divorce.

Post # 296
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

He never was going to have an open relationship was he?

Seek legal advice.

Post # 297
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

So….did you go to a lawyer yet? Or are you trying to get him back even now?

Post # 298
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

Just to add that if you both pay for a lease, then your husband should continue paying and I hope he is. You cheated but you don’t have to foot the entire amount yourself as punishment.

Post # 299
Member
2736 posts
Sugar bee

I hope this is the catalyst for you to move on instead of continuing to fool yourself that you’d be happy with an open marriage.

Post # 300
Member
6771 posts
Busy Beekeeper

anon97 :  Your marriage is over, your life is not. 

Meet with a lawyer. Find a therapist. Make a plan for the rest of your life. You can do this. 

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