(Closed) Faded Out Bridesmaid… to have a talk or to let it be…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Why not just piont out the pink elephant in the room? Is it easier said than done to have coffee and say ‘hey you seem to have a lot on your plate…I totally understand if you need to opt out of being my bm.’ You have plenty of time though before the wedding if you want to wait it out. I personally cut out emotionally depleting people…but that just me and she kinda sounds like she boarderlines on this for you. You have way more important things to worry or be pensive about rather than work at this friendship…or maybe i am too harsh?

My sister became a BEEZY when she got preggers. she is finally almost back to normal…3 years later!

Post # 4
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly if your wedding is a year from now I would not stress too much on it now. There is still plenty of time before dresses have to be ordered and I would wait until closer to then to see how things are. I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man that drove all of us crazy with her selfish attitude and lack of interest in anything wedding related. The other Bridesmaid or Best Man wanted to kick her out…lol.

As for a difficult pregnancy I can understand being in a different place. I have had a high risk pregnancy myself although I don;t blast all of my probelms everywhere. It could be she is having a hard time adjusting to motherhood. And post partum can be a serious condition.

Post # 9
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with PP’s maybe just let everything stay as it is now until the wedding gets a little closer.  Are you still close with P’s husband? I notice you said you might run something past him. 

You’re totally justified in telling your other BMs that she’s got a lot going on right now and to keep her in the loop but not expect a response.

I think the real question is- do you WANT her in your wedding anymore?  If the answer is no, it might be better to just get it over with.

Post # 11
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Maybe you could address the PPD concerns without even mentioning the wedding stuff.  The same bring-it-up-over-coffee scenario would work for your worries about her unusual behavior.  If she’s suffering, she might need the push to seek help.  The flip-side being that you completely offend her and she refuses to be your bridesmaid anymore… (sorry, I’m still feeling hilarious after the drama llama post).  In all fairness, if you’re going to involve her husband, you can ask him if he’s concerned as well and approach her with everyone involved.

Post # 13
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Wow.  Using pregnancy as an excuse for poor behaviour?  Boooo!  I thought about suggesting you let it ride and see how it plays out, but I’d rather get it over with and not be concerned about it as my wedding gets closer.  Print out one the drama llamas and send her a “thanks, but no thanks” card.  (Just kidding, but it is a great idea)  Hope it settles soon for you and you can focus on more productive matters!  🙂

Post # 15
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

there’s still a year to your wedding- what is there to be involved in at this point?  there’s still plenty of time for her to get involved.

Post # 16
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m trying to figure out what you mean you say “awkward behavior.” Are we talking, like, she’s elusive and doesn’t leave her house much? That she has bad breath and leans in too much when she talks to you? Or that she suddenly bursts out shouting at invisible monsters in a crowded restaurant? I think your response should depend on the severity of the issues here.

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