(Closed) Failed Engagements

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I haven’t been through this myself but I have just looked through your other messages and just wanted to send you love and support- I really feel for you.

Post # 4
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hi!! Im on my THIRD engagement. lol Not to make light of it but as my Fiance says “Third time’s a charm!” But anyways, going through a failed engagement is horrible. I know exactly what you are going through and I am soo very sorry!! All I can tell you is that everything will work out and you will find the man of your dreams!! 🙂 What I did after my 2nd failed engagement was I made a list of exactly what I want in a man, right down to hair and eye color. lol Then, I prayed about it and told God that I would trust him to bring this man into my life. I can honestly say that in 5 months I will be marrying the man of my dreams! He may not be a perfect person (far from it actually) but he is perfect for me and I am so increadibly thankful for all that I have been through. I have had a rough past when it comes to relationships but I know that I am the person that I am today because of my past. 🙂 Keep your chin up and remember that the best thing you can do right now is learn how to love yourself and how to be a strong independent woman so that when the right man comes along you can have a happy and healthy relationship! Good Luck!!

Post # 5
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LLRininger:  He not She…

Post # 7
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Packers12:  Whoooops!! I am sooo sorry! I didnt even really pay attention to the name Im just so used to everyone on here being women!!! haha sorry!

Post # 9
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I went through a failed engagement 6 years ago. It was hard, but I’m SO happy now that things did not work out, as I am newly engaged to the love of my life!

Hang in there. It will be hard for a while, but you’ll find someone who will make you even happier than she did. You’ll look back and think, ‘wow, I almost married HER!’

Post # 11
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Packers12:  Okay, first of all do you still ahve contact with her? If you do you need to stop. You need to remove her from your facebook, email, phone, etc.

Second, you need to realize that you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.  Why would you want to be with someone that thinks there is something else better out there?

Next, you need to use this time to examine yourself.  See if there is anything about you and how you function in a relationship that you can work on to improve yourself and your ability to be a good partner in future relationships.

You need to give up hope of it working out – no matter what her mom says/does.  Right now, all you know is that you are broken up and you need to live your life as though that chapter is over.  You won’t move on if you keep waiting for her to come around – honestly, even if she does I wouldn’t take her back.

Lastly, this gets back to the point of bettering yourself.  You won’t be single forever, but you don’t need to go back out there.  I usually like jumping back into the dating pool and it helps me realize that the last guy I was with is a total loser and there are better things out there and it gets me excited for the possibilities.  From this and your past posts about trying dating, I don’t think this is the route for you to go.  I think you really need to learn how to live your live as a single guy.  I don’t know your history or anything but was she your first serious relationship? your first break up that wasn’t initiated by you?  Are you a “relationship guy” – always in a relationship?  Are you someone who is very dependent on their partner in a relationship? If so, you really need to learn to be independent and happy on your own.  Take up a new hobby, go watch football with your buddies and drink too much beer, go to strip club, whatever. Just keep yourself busy and surround yourself with your good friends.  

If none of these things are working then I think you should consider therapy.  It always helps me get through a bad breakup.

 

Post # 12
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Packers12:  Well… as the person who called off my engagement (the first one is really the only one that is relivant because the other guy was a lying jerk) I would say you probably need to move on. My Ex was sooooo heartbroken by the breakup and so was I but I just knew he wasnt the right man for me. He begged me to take him back but it just made me want him even less. If you honestly want her to come back to you, you will have to show her what she is missing. Don’t contact her at all but just make it very clear that you are moving on. Once she knows that some one else could potentially have what she gave up might make her think things over a little more. Take time to grieve the loss of the relationship but then slowly start moving on. If she comes back then she does, if she doesnt then you will find some one else and be happy without her. Sorry my first response wasnt as helpful. lol

Post # 13
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

I’ve been through one failed engagement, then moved on to a new guy… failed marriage…. and now am getting married for the 2nd time. I’m very happy now and know that I’m better off now than I was before. It can and will be okay! I spent some time in therapy after my divorce and lived alone… took care of myself… and didn’t date for awhile. That might be a good healthy route for you too. There’s nothing sad about it 🙂 It’s self healing!

Post # 14
Member
3340 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

At least your mom didn’t show up to your house with a new pair of shoes, hit you on the shoulder, and say “Buck up!”  (True story; happened to a friend of mine who’s engagement ended).  But in all seriousness, this sucks.  It sucks worse than anything you’ve probably ever felt.  But it will get better!  Honestly, it can’t stay like this forever.  You’re already at rock bottom so the only place to go is up.  There’s no set timeframe for getting over someone.  It’ll happen slowly over time, but it will happen.  Hang in there and try not to let yourself dwell on thoughts of her.  It’s not going to make you feel any better.  Move on as best you can, and one day, you will meet the woman you are supposed to be with.

Post # 16
Member
7437 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

My Fiance was previously engaged. They broke up in December of 2011 (his decision) and we met in April of 2012. We got engaged in October of 2012. There can be happy endings!

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