(Closed) Failure MOH

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Not at all. If she’s going along to the bachelorette party, let her know what her share of the costs are! It’s not fair that you’re footing the bill with just one other bridesmaid. What’s the worst she could say, no?

Post # 4
Member
2067 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

No… Not tacky at all

Post # 5
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If cost is a concern, maybe scale back a bit – I’m not sure a limo falls under “requirements” for a bachelorette party….just sayin’

Post # 6
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@HisGirl19:  A. Slap that bride and let her know that she can’t dictate requirements. If she wants them that badly, she can pay for them and not drain your wallet.

B. Speak up to the other BMs and just let them know where you stand on the budgeting of stuff. Ask if they’d like to each volunteer to pick up the tab on some things or if you want to split the pot.

Post # 7
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@HisGirl19:  I think this is something you should talk to the Bride about, does she know this Maid/Matron of Honor isn’t helping at all? I know if any of my girls were upset about another girl, I would want to know. I currently have a problem with my Maid/Matron of Honor, however, she is my sister. She is a single mother that works at most 3 days a week, I knew she wouldn’t be able to afford anything, but she is my sister so I picked her anyway. It didn’t turn into a problem until the bachelorette party where I had to hold her hand during the whole process to plan it and come time of the actual party, she couldn’t afford to help pay for anything. I was going to help pay her way, but one of the BMs said that was unacceptable and paid for her. I felt horrible and kind of embarrassed.

 

Post # 9
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@HisGirl19:  In that case, I wouldn’t expect her to pay. But with the strain on your wallet and the others contributing, I’d still speak up to the bride.

Post # 10
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You can ask, but she isn’t required to pitch in – especially since she wont’ be able to make the party.

Post # 11
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee

I think if she is hosting, then she should share a portion of the financials, but if she is not attending that she isn’t required to pitch in.

I wouldn’t let the bride push you to organize something you cannot afford.

Post # 12
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would ask, but don’t expect anything. If money is an issue you should cut back some of the spending or talk to the bride. You shouldn’t be expected to take care of the whole thing.

Post # 13
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@HisGirl19:  I was asked if Maid/Matron of Honor would help pay for my bridal shower… I said you can ask, but I am not sure what her response will be. Maid/Matron of Honor will not be chipping in, I later found out. So ask the bride if it is OK to ask the Maid/Matron of Honor to pitch in.

(MOH will not attend the shower, nor the stagette BTW)

Post # 14
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@RunsWithBears:  <– this.  Just because she is Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t mean she is required to plan pre-wedding parties.  You’re planning them as a bridesmaid?  That’s wonderful!  But that was your choice.

The bride cannot “require” anything for the bachelorette.  She can make her preferences known, but that’s it.  A limo and fancy hotel are not necessary elements of a bachelorette party.

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