(Closed) fall out with best friend over her bridesmaids

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

sorry to hear that…she probably was just scared to tell you.  people get so touchy when it comes to weddings and she just probably felt bad. i only want my family in my wedding and my bestie.  i have friend thats been hinting around about her being in the wedding and i don’t know how to tell her that she can’t that its going to be only family and my bestie…hope this doesn’t mess up the friendship

Post # 3
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

sorry to hear that…she probably was just scared to tell you.  people get so touchy when it comes to weddings and she just probably felt bad. i only want my family in my wedding and my bestie.  i have friend thats been hinting around about her being in the wedding and i don’t know how to tell her that she can’t that its going to be only family and my bestie…hope this doesn’t mess up the friendship

Post # 4
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

For whatever it’s worth, she’s totally in the wrong, at least in your account of things. She sounds horrible.

Post # 5
Member
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

She handled it poorly. give a few days, if she’s truly a friend she will know she was wrong and will apologize. If that doesn’t happen, then maybe you guys weren’t as close as you thought you were. Sorry 🙁

Post # 6
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You both handled it wrong, although she’s mostly to blame here. I’m confused though about the part about how she doesn’t have any money and you offered to pay for the dress…bridesmaids always pay for their dresses, did I miss something there?

Post # 7
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Wonderstruck: I think it’s a cultural thing. I’m guessing OP isn’t from the US. Though I could definitely be wrong.

I think it was crappy of her to at first take the passive aggressive way of doing things and then jump all over you. In my opinion, she seems to be in the wrong here, by how you worded it at least. If you’re not letting someone be a bridesmaid, you tell them. You don’t mention “Oh, just family” and “Oh, but so and so is MOH” and just make you ASSUME things. It’s really crappy and not something a REAL friend would do. Sounds like she’s not a very good one. Sorry that sucks.

Post # 8
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Wonderstruck:  I don’t see how the OP handled anything wrong – seems to me she just was rudely dropped and even more rudely confronted with this. 

Also, I am originally from Canada and live in Australia now, and i’ve never bought my dress as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and I’m buying the dresses for my BMs as well. 

Post # 9
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ScarletBegonia: Well, she did yell too – it’s hard to have an argument if only one person is yelling and arguing. I did say the friend was mostly to blame though. And it must be a cultural thing like AmeliaBedelia said, because in the US (and parts of Canada, I live about ten minutes away from Windsor) it’s totally unheard of for the bride to pay for the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. Although re-reading OP’s post, the use of the word ‘row’ instead of argument makes me guess she’s probably not from the US.

Post # 10
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Wonderstruck: Yes I agree that an argument can only happen if both people participate, but it takes an incredibly strong and calm person to ALWAYS turn the other cheek, and i think especially in this situation when it was an unexpected confrontation, the OP could be forgiven for engaging.  Just my opinion though!

Post # 11
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

This happened to me once. A friend got engaged and told my sister and I that we would be her bridesmaids since we were her closest friends. A few months later, I hear that she has two other women as her bridesmaids and she had amnesia about everything she told us! It was sort of hurtful, but I just sucked it up and let it go.

I don’t know why people do things like that, but fighting with her isn’t going to help the situation. Your friend acted like a jerk, but don’t most people at some point or another? Sorry you had to deal with that.

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