- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
First I’d like to apologize for how long this is..
Things are falling apart in my life right now. I feel like each step I take to get closer to planning, I go back 5 steps.
I have been going to a church since I was little. My Fiance and his family goes to the same church as me. We met there through youth group events and such. We have stuck to that church through many, many, many ups and downs.
Within the past 4-5 months we got a new preacher. He is amazing. For the first time in a very long time I feel like he is truly helping me in building a stronger relationship with God. My family has enjoyed him as well. I have been very active and involved in church for the past 2-3 years and have recently taken on more and more responsibility there.
About a month ago we found out that our church would be taking up money to support a “special” offering. This “special” offering goes towards fighting against gay marriages. My brother is gay. When he found out he was extremely hurt and angry. He felt like the church was doing something secretive because it was so hush hush. His problem (as well as my family’s problem) is that regardless of what the Bible says and our beliefs about wether or not you choose to be gay or you are born that way, we don’t think it makes sense for a church to raise money for something that does not affect a single one of us in a negative way. Until we start raising money going against other things that are in the Bible as “sins”, then it seems ridiculous that this is what we are asking people to open up their pocketbooks for. (Might I add we need to raise a substantial amount of money to fix a plumbing issue at our church that is critical.)
My brother has decided to not attend the church anymore. He doesn’t live here anymore, but still considers this his home church. My mom has also decided she no longer wants to attend. I am having a tough time. Not only is this an awful time for all this to happen, as the preacher will be marrying my Fiance and I, most of the church has already been sent Save-The-Date Cards, a shower is being planned for us and our wedding counseling is coming up within the next week or so..it has also been tough because for the first time in a long time I feel like I am being “spiritually fed”.
I am not and will not support this “special offering”. The church’s name is not on the offering. My family says this is because they don’t have the backbone to put their name on it; however, for me it makes me much happier. I don’t support it, so I don’t want the church’s name on it. I feel like it is from the people who give; not the whole church. I do know that there are people in the church will not be supporting it.
I’m torn between being “spiritually fed” and making sure my brother knows I support him. My mom told me I have to do what is right for me. I feel like whatever I do I am wrong. I am either leaving a church where I am growing or not supporting my brother. How can I do both?
I should add I live in a very, very, very small town. I know there are a list of churches who are doing the same thing; however, I don’t know which churches are. There aren’t a lot of options as far as leaving and going somewhere else.
What do I do bees? Is the only way to support my brother to leave? Do I tell the pastor he cannot marry us anymore even though FI’s family will continue to go there? If I schedule a time to meet with the pastor and tell him my feelings and that I don’t support what is taking place is that enough? If I go somewhere else am I just going to find another thing I don’t support? I need help.