- 9 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
I’m getting married in less than 2 weeks and need some advice/support. I have recently fallen out with one of my two bridesmaids. It’s a long story but basically she is one of my oldest friends. She was lovely, kind, funny and supportive when we first met in our youth but over the years she’s grown into a completely negative, paranoid, critical and judgemental person. There are reasons for her negativity but I can’t keep making excuses for her behaviour, as I have been doing for years now. I haven’t asked her to actually do anything for the wedding although she paid for her own dress as it’s just a casual, low-key wedding and I’m letting the bridesmaids wear what they like as they’ll get to keep the dresses and I like the idea of us all expressing our individual styles. I have kept it as low-pressure as possible for her, however she is completely unable to show any kind of enthusiasm, in fact her attitude suggests she finds it quite a burden (perhaps financially?) I recently asked her for a small favour for the wedding (and gave her the option to decline) and she reacted like I was asking the earth and accused me of “taking advantage”. It was completely out of proportion and I said that her eagerness to think the worst of me must mean she doesn’t have a very high opinion of me. I haven’t heard from her since. I’ve now decided that I don’t need someone like that standing with me on my wedding day and now would rather she didn’t come but I don’t know how to approach this with her without her attacking and criticising me. I’d even dread doing it my email! I just need to know either way if she’s planning on turning up. I’m also wondering if I should offer to pay for her dress if she is unable to return it as I’m sure she is going to be now blaming me for her wasting money!
I lost my sister two years ago and I now cannot bear the thought of this person standing in her shoes by my side on my wedding day. My other bridesmaid is lovely, kind, suppotive and I think I’d be happier if it was just ner on the day. So I need some advice on how to approach this??