(Closed) Falling out with Bridesmaid?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

What was the fallout about, was it because of the wedding? or something separate? If she chose not to be in the wedding, I’m not sure why it would be unfair to replace her?

Post # 5
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Yep, lots of ladies fall out with their bridesmaids every day.

Post # 7
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My advice would be to not replace her and here’s why:  You don’t sound like there is anyone that you really WISH you had had in her place AND you mostly only asked this 1st girl out of obligation.  Weddings always make things interesting, and you should really only have people in your wedding party that you really WANT to stand up for you – not people you ask out of obligation.  

I “lucked out” and a lady that I had considered to be a good friend showed me that she really didn’t want to be friends anymore before I asked her to be a bridesmaid.  I would have asked her too since as you say, she’d been a good friend for a number of years.  But things with this friend also hadn’t been quite right and I think the same or worse would have happened to me had I asked her to be in my wedding.  It hurt to realize that she wasn’t a friend anymore, but it worked out for the best for me.

IF I’m reading this wrong and there really is someone that you wished you could have asked before and didn’t because you asked this lady instead, then take that into consideration.  But that’s the only reason that I would consider replacing this other lady.

Post # 9
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I’m so sorry.  I will say this…it’s better that it happened now than after the wedding.  My maid of honor and I haven’t spoken since my wedding day, and we are no longer friends, so looking back on all those pictures of her standing up next to me…well, it’s kind of painful.  She and I were friends for a long time, but it was not a good or healthy friendship for me.  It would have been really nice if I had figured that out before she stood next to me on my wedding day (actually, I did, but it was two days before the wedding and I didn’t want to tell her to go home, so I just continued on as if everything was fine).  Anyway, the point of all this is to say: if you and this bridesmaid don’t have the friendship you thought you had, it’s better for you that you found out now–that way only people that truly love and support you will be standing with you on that day.  I absolutely know how hard this is, and I’m so sorry you’re going through it.  It’s been 6 months since my wedding and I’m still not over what happened between me and my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I hope that you can move past this and just enjoy the rest of your wedding planning!

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