- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
So me and my fiance got engaged 3 weeks ago, our engagment party is on Saturday night and will be a meal with our immediate family then followed by a party with all of our friends. We have been together for 3 years and this is the first time that our families have met (my family are several hours drive one direction and his dad is a couple of hours the other, his mum is fairly local) so I thought this would be a perfect opportunity for them to meet, or the first time could be at the wedding!
Now, the slight concern has been that our families are so very different, my parents are solid and have been together for over 29 years and I have had a fortunate and amazing upbringing with my sister. On the other side his parents broke up when he and his sister were very young after alcoholic/abusive issues and he spend a lot of years in a womens hostel. His father has now been sober for over 20 years and has a partner of 18 years, his mum on the other hand is a little ‘wild’ and has had another husband & divorce along with various boyfriends including her most recent, a married man.
Don’t get me wrong, I love his mum, dad, dad’s partner and sister very much, we get along really well. My parents are lovely and by no means snobs, however this is a big deal for me and my fiance and want the meal prior to the party to just be immediate family (which I think given it’s their first meeting is fair) only. His mum has been seeing this married man for a couple of years, however he is back and forth between her and his wife’s place (his excuse being their 8 year old son they tried for 12 years with IVF to concieve) and travels abroad a large amount of the year, they are on/off all the time. He is however a big part of her life, but we have asked if he could just come to the party and it be just the family for the meal – well this has not gone down well and is causing upset and arguments all over the place! I have tried to smooth things over as I have been looking forward to my family travelling up and meeting everyone and celebrating with us.
I think it will all calm down by the weekend, and perhaps my fiance wasn’t as thoughtful with his wording as he could have been, but he is very to the point. I just think it’s our celebration right? We usually do everything for other people, go out of our way to help and celebrate with them but this is our time, I just don’t want anyone to be upset or there to be any awkwardness!
What’s your advice??