(Closed) Families meeting

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: LA Athletic Club

I personally do not think you should do two different weddings. My fiancé comes from a conservative Middle Eastern Muslim family and mine is conservative, Mexican, French, Irish, German and Catholic. My fiancé and I are both Liberal Athesists and surprisingly both families have accepted that we will not be having a religious ceremony. It has been a difficult journey to say the least but your wedding is about you, your fiancé and the love you share. They might not completely agree with everything but you should talk to them and express how you feel. 

Post # 3
Member
9521 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Two different weddings would be a logistical and financial nightmare. His parents never met anyone who smokes, drinks or has tattoos? Even people that are anti all that usually polite to those they do not agree with. 

Post # 4
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Absolutely do not have two different weddings! Give them the benefit of the doubt. If they don’t like it, they will have to deal with it!

Post # 6
Member
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

For mine, the moms met at my shower, and then everyone met everyone at the rehearsal. My parents were the problem, dragging feet, and giving us grief thr entire time die to our religious differences. 

It is your day and your relationship. Have the one wedding you want and just let them meet that weekend. The Conservatives will recognize the formality of the situation and be on their best behavior. The Liberals will too. Your parents wont brawl at the wedding. Seat the families apart and then focus on your friends and your wedding day. The adults will take care of themselves.

Post # 8
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
myabi2796 :  I hear you! FI’s parents are divorced and his mom is in a committed long-term same sex relationship (she doesn’t identify as gay). His dad, even though he’s remarried and they’ve been divorced for a decade still struggles with the entire situation and gets emotional. His mom’s partner is NOT a nice lady and starts drama everywhere she goes, including at his grandfather’s funeral! I’m not worried about my mom, she’s going to be fine. My dad I’m sure will make some comments that will be rude, though he won’t intend them to be…but his family….his from Appalachia family…conservative doesn’t even begin to describe them. We’ve seriously talked about a courthouse wedding because of it. In the end we decided since our venues have security, they’ll be instructed to toss anyone who isn’t acting appropriately and we don’t care who it is. If you figure something out, please pass it on to me!!!

Post # 10
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018- Stan Hywet Gardens

My recommendation is to not plan anything until you are ACTUALLY engaged. Your families are becoming one, so developing those relationships is key before you start thinking about planning. 

When you DO get engaged, don’t you want your BF’s input at all? It all boils down to the fact that you’re not marrying yourself so his opinion should matter and it should be something you do together. This means that all the planning  you’re doing right now is a total waste of time. Not to mention that your tastes can change between now and when you’re engaged.

Enjoy your relationship as it is right now and stop pre-planning and living in the future. It’ll get here, I promise

Post # 12
Member
7663 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I don’t see any need for families to mee before the wedding, at least if both families trust their children. My mum and DH’s dad (both spouses are deceased) are very different people. DH had met my mum, and I had met his dad prior to the wedding, but the parents had not met each other. My mum met most of DH’a female relatives at the shower, and then both families met at the rehearsal, and that was fine. The families don’t have to be best friends.

So tell your Fiance what to expect with your family, and I am sure he will tell his family what to expect. Most normal people would never make a scene at a rehearsal dinner or wedding, so regardless of what his family might think, they likely won’t say anything until they are alone. I wouldn’t worry about it, tbh.

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