Families on opposite sides of the world, 2021 wedding, COVID: WWYD?

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2759 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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@danijay: sorry you are stuck in this situation.  Honestly if you want to get married, I’d get married in the USA on the date you choose to get married.  It’s a pandemic, impossible to predict when travel will be safe again (and when travel opens up, invariably there will be another wave).  I wouldn’t put off my longterm plans of TTC and buying a house just for the wedding events personally.  Also I wouldn’t count on the USA/Canada border being open for a very very long time.  Experts are predicting *maybe* a year from now, but it all depends on how the USA handles Covid (and no one is holding their breath with that one).

Post # 3
Member
3853 posts
Honey bee

#2. Elope this year, and have receptions in 2022. Although your mom and certain others might be disappointed, these are not normal times and your goals of marriage, home ownership and children take precedence. Anyone who doesn’t understand this difficult but wise decision needs to take a seat.

Post # 4
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

this is super personal.  were you planning to TTC right away or are there other reasons you want to get legally married sooner than later?  are both of you fine with eloping (sounds like you’re on board but your fiance is not?)

for me, i’d be fine pushing back a bigger wedding celebration, but would want to wait until at least my immediate family could attend my wedding.  

Post # 5
Member
1858 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I would elope now with a livestream for your family, then have an in person celebration later. Gambling on borders opening is too risky. You have plans for TTC and buying a home. Delaying the legal protections of marriage for 2 years, especially during a global pandemic, seems also risky.

Good luck

Post # 8
Member
7804 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

As a canadian, trying to use the country as a loophole bc the US is so fucked is extremely selfish and dangerous. Please dont use our country and citizens as a rock hop so you can avoid government mandated border closures. 

Anyways. Of your options, I think option 2 is what I’d do. If he’s not a PR and only here on a work visa, I think his immigration status is more important than family being around. 

Post # 9
Member
681 posts
Busy bee

I vote option 2, and don’t push of TTC. Life is so uncertain right now, and it’s not worth putting your family on hold.

Post # 10
Member
559 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@danijay:  if you guys are both fine with eloping, that’s probably what i would do then!  i’m sure if you explained it to your mom she would understand.  and if you decide to do a delayed celebration/reception, i’m sure your mom would still be super excited about being involved with that.

Post # 11
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

#2 for sure, YOUR wedding isn’t about pleasing other people in the first place and definatley shouldn’t be during a pandemic. 

I feel you on the mom part, I am an only child as well… but even in these times.. my mom would be like “SEND PICS”

you could always live stream the elopement too, so people can be a part of it!

Post # 12
Member
3768 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I would just elope.  Livestream in your family if you want.  Keep open the possibility of a later reception, but also recognize that once you’re married and working on a house, kids, etc…. you might not want to spend 10 or 20 grand on a party (that happened for us, lol).  I’m sorry this is happening!  But I wouldn’t postpone your marriage for 2 whole years.  

Post # 13
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I would elope and have the parties later. I don’t think your life should be out on hold due to Covid. 

Post # 14
Member
768 posts
Busy bee

In your situation, I would elope. 

Right now, Australia has internal state borders closed (and Melbourne is currently closed to the rest of Victoria; Melbourne itself is under curfew). It may be many months (or more) until these internal borders are reopened. It will be significantly longer before national borders are open, and even when those open for Australian citizens, manatory hotel quarantine (at the traveler’s expense) may remain. Because coronavirus eradication has been reached in most Australian states, many Australians there may be apprehensive traveling to Canada because the situation is still much worse there than in places like South Australia and Western Australia.

Because of all of these factors, I would just assume that traveling to Australia, or having Australians venture out of Australia, is off the table indefinitely. I have a lot of sympathy – not being able to get married with family around is tough. However, I don’t think it’s worth postponing so many major life events because of the current border situation. I’m sure that family in Australia will understand. 

Post # 15
Member
7527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You are dreaming if you think Australia is going to open it’s borders with Canada. Sorry but we are tentatively in discussions to form a travel bubble with NZ starting next year. Given that direct flights to Canada where rare pre-covid, they will be non existent during covid. Which means stopping in the states. Any Australia willing to do that for a non essential reason is being an idiot in my opinion. And a wedding is a non essential reason to travel.

Just get married now in private and zoom your folks/relatives in and celebrate later, probably much later.

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@danijay:  

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