(Closed) family & money vent……. non wedding related

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Since everyone (except for your mom) wants the same thing, why is this becoming such an issue? It seems pretty clear that your aunt is afraid once you see just how much your uncle has left behind, you and your siblings will reconsider your position and her daughter will end up with less.

I can understand you not wanting to blindly sign away your rights. Is there a chance that if his assets reached a certain level (let’s say $5 million) you would feel differently about your cousin getting everything?

If you’re truly happy with her having it all — regardless of the value — it may be worth keeping the family peace and obliging your aunt’s request. But if you might feel differently should there be a bonanza of assets to share, then you should obviously exercise your legal rights.

Post # 4
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree, even if I knew regardless that I would sign away my rights to the inheritance I would like to know what I am signing away…I would feel really weird signing what is essentially a blank document.

Post # 5
1205 posts
Bumble bee

Wow.  That’s a lot of drama.  In My Humble Opinion, you’re being kind. 

It’s only fair that you know what you are signing.  Any chance you can speak to your cousin on this?? 

I think it’s wonderful that you are not trying to get everything you can.  It’s sad, but I’ve heard of many people who will try anything for a buck…

Post # 6
898 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s fair to know what you’re signing. Especially when it’s an inheritance that was left to you regardless of how involved you are in the situation. If you don’t want anything out of this, call the cousin and get a little info. If she was able to care for your uncle through his illness, she obviously has a heart of gold and would probably be more than willing to let you know what’s going on. Good luck!

Post # 7
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you have a right to know what you’re signing away even if you want no part of it. Stand your ground–if she wants this to move forward she’ll have to let you know what the assets are.

I think the aunt is just trying to look out for her own (maybe a little too much) and she is acting a little sly. She probably doesn’t want you to see the document because if it’s really that much, you’ll likely try to claim a piece of the pie (which regardless you are apparently entitled to, even though are graciously declining). Maybe your aunt thinks there will be AN asset you want–a piece of jewelry or something and that suddenly you will become greedy. She’s not really giving you the benefit of the doubt. From my family history, I can honestly say everyone is sort of skeptical of others (even family) once large sums of money come into play. I’ve seen it happy many times over; it’s not a new issue unfortunately. At some point they’ll just have to trust you that you are dong the right thing and have a little faith in your character.

I guess her attitude is that if you don’t care, you’ll sign it, regardless. I think that’s kinda foolish, though, to sign a blank document!

If it gets a little nasty, you could have a lawyer contact their lawyer–I would imagine that you are “entitled” to see his will and/or inheritance items. Maybe there is something very specific the uncle wanted to leave you as a family member–not even money or something.

Post # 8
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

I also agree that you should know what you’re signing away – only an ignorant person would sign their name to a LEGAL document and have no idea what it is!  I’d consult a lawyer if I were you…

Sounds like you’re taking the high road – good for you!  Money & Family NEVER mix well and you’re doing all you can to keep things copacetic.  Keep on them about it, though!

Post # 10
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Good Luck!

What you are asking for is definitely reasonable – Stick to your guns!!!!

Post # 11
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I would first consider if it is a big sum of money.  Then, I would NOT sign the document.  I would receive the money and then gift it to my cousin.  Obviously, you’ll need to find out if there are any taxation issues or gift tax issues for you in Australia.  

Did your Uncle have a will?  Or does his estate just split between his heirs?  If your Uncle had a will and intended you to receive part of his estate, I would want to respect my Uncle’s wishes.

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