- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016
And honestly it feels a bit rude to not get an actual invitation when you live 1000 miles away from your parents and are an adult. When the bride made a rude comment to me several months later about not showing up, I just looked at her quizzically. Like… girl, you didn’t really invite me.
The rudeness was that of you or your parents. Seriously your trying to excuse them is just plain wrong. To me, you are acting like a toddler, stamping your feet about not getting an invite exactly how you wanted. Your parents should have told you, or not rsvp’ed for you. Your attempt to push blame away from your parents (oh the invite must have just sat around for weeks) is wrong. If true, you could say you didnt know, but it appears you did, you just didnt like how the invite was sent.
I just remembered an invitation we got 5+ years back. For those who have read about (sometimes ad-nauseum) my experiences with my in-laws – guess what?
The invitation was adressed to The X Family. Our 23 year old daughter was still living at home, since she went to grad. school, and had been dating her high school sweetheart (now husband) for 6 years. Our 27 year old daughter had already bought her own home and had been living with her boyfriend, for about 4 years. One invitation, for two households, where 3 should have been sent.
Neither of the girls were given the opportunity to bring a guest, despite being in relationships, for a significant amount of time; I don’t know if the bride had every met the guys?, but she saw plenty of photos, got the annual holiday letter, and we shared a vacation with her family the year before the wedding, so she certainly heard about them. They attended without their men and were glad they didn’t take them, as it was one of the most poorly hosted weddings, they’ve ever attended.
A few years later, when the above bride’s brother married, we did get 3 invitations, sent to 3 different households. 11 months after the gift was sent (which was as soon as we received the invitations), we got one, whole thank you note, addressed to “The X Family” to my home. I passed it along to my daughters, since they contributed to the gift, and we laughed each time.
This is the same family where my brother in law/wife didn’t even have the courtesy to RSVP to my daughter’s wedding – the only 2 of 250 invited guests not to do so. I’ve never met a more self-centric group, in my life.
Ehhhh, case by case.
I was invited to multiple weddings on my parent’s invite in my 20s because I was living abroad for a lot of the time. Didn’t bother me. Now that I’m married and haven’t lived overseas in quite while, of course I’d expect an invite to both my husband and I sent to our address, even though we rent and still move fairly frequently. I check my electronic communication multiple times a day if they need to confirm my address or hubby’s name.
Same with “on and off” relationships. If they’ve been together for three years and took a break for six months in the middle of it? Invite. Can’t stay together for more than a month? Off the hook.
You’re damned if you do, and your damned if you don’t, right? send them an invite and they lose it, don’t reply, or reply and don’t show (because weddings aren’t high in their radar). Heck, I had parents reply for them anyway ha! Send it to their parents and you’re frightfully rude.
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