(Closed) Family +1s?!?!

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 31
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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dkad:  Also I do think you should issue invites to people in distinct households (even if they’re just away at college), but I don’t think you need to give +1s to people who aren’t in committed relationships. I don’t think getting my own invite would make me feel more like I should have a +1.

Post # 32
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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ABusyBride:  “

And honestly it feels a bit rude to not get an actual invitation when you live 1000 miles away from your parents and are an adult. When the bride made a rude comment to me several months later about not showing up, I just looked at her quizzically. Like… girl, you didn’t really invite me.

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/family-1s/#ixzz45zCgYQgE


The rudeness was that of you or your parents.  Seriously your trying to excuse them is just plain wrong.  To me, you are acting like a toddler, stamping your feet about not getting an invite exactly how you wanted.  Your parents should have told you, or not rsvp’ed for  you. Your attempt to push blame away from your parents (oh the invite must have just sat around for weeks) is wrong.  If true, you could say you didnt know, but it appears you did, you just didnt like how the invite was sent.  

Post # 33
4038 posts
Honey bee

I just remembered an invitation we got 5+ years back. For those who have read about (sometimes ad-nauseum) my experiences with my in-laws – guess what?

The invitation was adressed to The X Family. Our 23 year old daughter was still living at home, since she went to grad. school, and had been dating her high school sweetheart (now husband) for 6 years. Our 27 year old daughter had already bought her own home and had been living with her boyfriend, for about 4 years. One invitation, for two households, where 3 should have been sent.

Neither of the girls were given the opportunity to bring a guest, despite being in relationships, for a significant amount of time; I don’t know if the bride had every met the guys?, but she saw plenty of photos, got the annual holiday letter, and we shared a vacation with her family the year before the wedding, so she certainly heard about them. They attended without their men and were glad they didn’t take them, as it was one of the most poorly hosted weddings, they’ve ever attended. 

A few years later, when the above bride’s brother married, we did get 3 invitations, sent to 3 different households. 11 months after the gift was sent (which was as soon as we received the invitations), we got one, whole thank you note, addressed to “The X Family” to my home. I passed it along to my daughters, since they contributed to the gift, and we laughed each time.

This is the same family where my brother in law/wife didn’t even have the courtesy to RSVP to my daughter’s wedding – the only 2 of 250 invited guests not to do so. I’ve never met a more self-centric group, in my life.

Post # 34
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Ehhhh, case by case.

I was invited to multiple weddings on my parent’s invite in my 20s because I was living abroad for a lot of the time. Didn’t bother me. Now that I’m married and haven’t lived overseas in quite while, of course I’d expect an invite to both my husband and I sent to our address, even though we rent and still move fairly frequently. I check my electronic communication multiple times a day if they need to confirm my address or hubby’s name.

Same with “on and off” relationships. If they’ve been together for three years and took a break for six months in the middle of it? Invite. Can’t stay together for more than a month? Off the hook.

Post # 35
3164 posts
Sugar bee

You’re damned if you do, and your damned if you don’t, right? send them an invite and they lose it, don’t reply, or reply and don’t show (because weddings aren’t high in their radar). Heck, I had parents reply for them anyway ha! Send it to their parents and you’re frightfully rude. 

Post # 36
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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dkad:  I was the Maid/Matron of Honor in my cousin’s wedding when I was 24. I didn’t tell people about my dating life/SO’s unless we’d been together for 6+ mo or I thought it was going somewhere. I had been living on my own for 7 years at that point (I graduated HS at 17) and was listed on the invitations with my parents. Our second cousin (small southern town) who we grew up with was 25, had been dating the same guy for 3 years and she also was put on the invitation with her mom. Neither of us got +1s. Needless to say, I was pretty upset that I didn’t even get my own invitation, I only knew people over the age of 50 and the 3 cousins from our side. It was horrible. She spent all night upset that no one was dancing, but since no one got +1s, we were all related, only 10 or so people were under 50…not really anyone to dance with or anyone to dance. Learn from my cousin, don’t be my cousin.

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