(Closed) Family already making plans about this baby, but there’s a problem :p

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
345 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

hmmm, I’m not sure that you can say that!  It’s his wife, and you kind of have to deal with her.  You can ask them to stay in a hotel or whatever, and not the house and I think that is ok, but asking him to come without his wife would probably really piss him off!  I’m sorry, because I do understand as I really hate my dad’s second wife as well, but unfortunately I think we’re stuck with them.  They also live abroad which is good because it means I hardly see her!  If I could I wouldn’t invite her to my wedding, but there’s no way I can say that so she’ll be there and unfortunately I think you’ll just have to put up with her if your dad visits.  🙁

Post # 4
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You do what’s right for you and your family–your husband and your baby.

You’re going to hear that she’s family, and you have to put up with it, etc. That’s not true. There are a lot of shitty things about being an adult–sixty hour work weeks, taxes, mortgages, car payments, bills, sagging tits, cervical biopsies. One of the benefits is that you have a say over the people in your life. I don’t know what your history with this woman is or what she’s done to you, but you don’t have to have her in your life just because she’s married to your father. And that’s your decision.

It may come with consequences; it may damage the relationship with your father you’ve been building. But you do have the right to say, “I don’t want this person in my life or my child’s life.”

I think the best thing to do is be honest, tell your father you like the progress that your relationship has been making, but you don’t think this is the time or place to work through your issues with his wife. (And it’s not… sore, sleep deprived, overflowing with hormones, all the changes that having a new baby brings. You need to be focused on yourself and your new family, not old wounds and old drama.)


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