- 10 years ago
- Wedding: June 2008
My older sister happens to be my matron of honor. I decided not to have a maid of honor as well, b/c I didn’t want to hurt either of my bm’s feelings by choosing one over the other. I also didn’t really have much of a choice in chosing my Maid/Matron of Honor to fill that role, it was assumed by both my sister and my mom.
Now that my wedding is in two months, I’m somewhat regretting the decision to go with the flow and let my sister fill the role as Maid/Matron of Honor. Three months ago my sister was really on board with wedding activities and ready to plan a big shower and helping with a bridal luncheon. I gave her all the contact information for my bm’s and my future Mother-In-Law. Because my sister lives three hours away, I figured it’d be best to include my Future Mother-In-Law since she lives around me.
Now that we’re at the two month mark, no shower has been planned and my sister absolutely refuses to talk with my bm’s and Future Mother-In-Law. She has said for at least two months that she’s going to email everyone, but won’t do it. She won’t return messages either. I’ve spoken with my mom about it to vent about how much it really hurts my feelings that my own sister is acting this way, but my mom gets really defensive about it and assumes that I’m blaming her (which I try to explain I’m not). My bm’s have wanted to plan a shower for me for months, and would do a great job at it. However, they don’t want to step on my family’s toes by taking over. Plus, now that the time is winding down, they don’t have much time to essentially throw something together. I had reserved a location for us to have a shower, worked out the information/guest contact sheet, printed up little cards that had our names/date/and registry locations for my sister to put in the invites so she wold have less to do.
I’m just lost (and really hurt) at what to do.
To make everything even more stressful, I have a list of about 50 wedding things left to do in the next two months (some major, some minor). On top of it all, I’m trying to pack my house up, move in to my fiance’s house, unpack there, paint the house (which really needs it) and doing it before it is loaded with furniture is better than having to do it after moving in. I also have to find a new job, quit the incredibly stressful one I have, and find a new home for my dog since my fiance is allergic to him. I’ve asked one thing of my fiance, and thats just to clean up all of his paperwork & belongings and organize it so I can have some room at the house for my things (and so I don’t ruin his things). He won’t help me at all. He’s always too busy. While I know his work is stressful (doctor), he comes home at night and plays video games and watches tv.
I know many of you have been through similar things. Any suggestions on how to handle the Maid/Matron of Honor who isn’t helping and stepping up to her role and reduce the stress of a difficult fiance?